Weekend Writing Warriors August 28, 2016

 

Hello fellow Warriors (and Snippeteers)! :-)  The last Sunday in August already! I'm not really ready for summer to be over, but I do look forward to cooler fall weather. How about you?

Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop.  Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 to 10 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, on their own blog to go live before 9:00 AM Sunday EST. (We check signups and remove links when we don't find a wewriwa post-- to save our participants from clicking on empty links--so please have it live by 9:00 Sunday morning--eastern USA) Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good. Snippet Sunday group from facebook--not us, but many of our participants do both, can be found  HERE.               

This week's snippet: We're back to our main character,  Lily, and her dog Jobe, in a holding cell on an alien ship. Last week's snippet ended with: Dev Areen stuck out his chest and looked around. “Who among you would earn extra food?”

We continue from there...

“Good food, not the slop you’ve been eating. Come forward,” Dev Areen said.

The guards spoke at the same time as their crowing leader, glancing at him every few seconds. They were probably translating to other languages for her cellmates. But Dev Areen had chosen very clear Earth English to deliver his message. Why was he making sure she understood this?

“Big” was pathetically inadequate to describe the prisoner who walked toward the cocky Bulrager. The guards drew weapons, slowing down the behemoth.

That's it for this week. What works and what doesn't? I'm grateful for every bit of feedback you share.

Weekend Writing Warriors August 21, 2016

Hello fellow Warriors (and Snippeteers)! :-) 

Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop.  Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 to 10 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, on their own blog to go live before 9:00 AM Sunday EST. (We check signups and remove links when we don't find a wewriwa post-- to save our participants from clicking on empty links--so please have it live by 9:00 Sunday morning--eastern USA) Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good. Snippet Sunday group from facebook--not us, but many of our participants do both, can be found  HERE.               

This week's snippet: We're back to our main character,  Lily, and her dog Jobe, in a holding cell on an alien ship.

Lily jerked awake, filled with the trembling an adrenaline rush brings. The door opening coincided with a deep, drumming noise that resonated like an ancient gong. Three Bulrager guards walked in, the bright light of the hall silhouetting them making it impossible to see their faces. But there was no mistaking the voice that spoke; she’d know that cock-sure arrogance anywhere. She pulled Jobe close, and braced for them to try to take him.

Dev Areen stuck out his chest and looked around. “Who among you would earn extra food?”

Was this his best authoritative posturing? She had to fight hysterical laughter brewing in her belly; he looked so much like a rooster, the way he strutted as he spoke. Then she shuddered, thinking that a rooster would strike out and draw blood, too.

That's it. What works? What doesn't?  I appreciate your comments and learn from them. :-)