Welcome to my world and beyond...

A collection of snippets of the books I write and, occasionally, my life and the things that inspire my writing...

Sunday, August 21, 2016

Weekend Writing Warriors August 21, 2016

Hello fellow Warriors (and Snippeteers)! :-) 

Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop.  Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 to 10 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, on their own blog to go live before 9:00 AM Sunday EST. (We check signups and remove links when we don't find a wewriwa post-- to save our participants from clicking on empty links--so please have it live by 9:00 Sunday morning--eastern USA) Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good. Snippet Sunday group from facebook--not us, but many of our participants do both, can be found  HERE.               
This week's snippet: We're back to our main character,  Lily, and her dog Jobe, in a holding cell on an alien ship.

Lily jerked awake, filled with the trembling an adrenaline rush brings. The door opening coincided with a deep, drumming noise that resonated like an ancient gong. Three Bulrager guards walked in, the bright light of the hall silhouetting them making it impossible to see their faces. But there was no mistaking the voice that spoke; she’d know that cock-sure arrogance anywhere. She pulled Jobe close, and braced for them to try to take him.
Dev Areen stuck out his chest and looked around. “Who among you would earn extra food?”
Was this his best authoritative posturing? She had to fight hysterical laughter brewing in her belly; he looked so much like a rooster, the way he strutted as he spoke. Then she shuddered, thinking that a rooster would strike out and draw blood, too.


That's it. What works? What doesn't?  I appreciate your comments and learn from them. :-)

18 comments:

  1. You didn't miss a moment in this snippet. Just wonderful.

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  2. Very effective mtaphor, comparing the alien to a rooster, and then remembering they can be fierce too. Enjoyed the excerpt!

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  3. Somehow I get the feeling whatever one has to do to earn extra food isn't worth it. Great menace in this snippet.

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  4. Very astute observation on Lily's part. Hope she's not too hungry!

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  5. I agree, great ending thought from her at the end. She's really in a pickle! I bet having Jobe with her helps.

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  6. Gah! Don't answer, don't answer! Love this snippet and can't wait for more!

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  7. Love the flip-flop of feelings at the end. And I wonder what they have to do to earn extra food? Whatever it is, I bet it's not good!

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  8. Love the rooster comparison. It really helps paint a vivid image of this alien. I wonder what one has to do to earn extra food? A chilling thought. This is a compelling snippet.

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  9. Oh, she knows him? Another twist! Love it!!! I'm getting more and more impatient to read this entire story. ;)

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  10. Fantastic! I love her protectiveness over Jobe, and her mixed reactions at the end.

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  11. A fighting cock? Is that prescient?

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  12. Loved the rooster and alien metaphor. I've been enjoying your posts.

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  13. cock-sure arrogance & authoritative posturing, he has made an "impression" on her and not a comfortable one. Lots of tension.

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  14. Ah, I wonder why the aliens would take her dog? An interesting snippet. :)

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  15. Chickens don't seem dangerous, but I've seen pictures of bird fights. She's wise to be wary of this puffed-up alien.

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  16. Every moment of these snippets are so intense! I'm constantly on the edge about what they'll do to her and Jobe.

    ~Joyce Scarbrough

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  17. I love the sly humour in the comparison to a rooster. Having been chased by a few, in my day, I get the dangerous bit.

    So, what will they have to do to earn the food?

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