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A collection of snippets of the books I write and, occasionally, my life and the things that inspire my writing...

Sunday, August 28, 2016

Weekend Writing Warriors August 28, 2016

 
Hello fellow Warriors (and Snippeteers)! :-)  The last Sunday in August already! I'm not really ready for summer to be over, but I do look forward to cooler fall weather. How about you?

Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop.  Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 to 10 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, on their own blog to go live before 9:00 AM Sunday EST. (We check signups and remove links when we don't find a wewriwa post-- to save our participants from clicking on empty links--so please have it live by 9:00 Sunday morning--eastern USA) Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good. Snippet Sunday group from facebook--not us, but many of our participants do both, can be found  HERE.               
This week's snippet: We're back to our main character,  Lily, and her dog Jobe, in a holding cell on an alien ship. Last week's snippet ended with: Dev Areen stuck out his chest and looked around. “Who among you would earn extra food?”
We continue from there...

“Good food, not the slop you’ve been eating. Come forward,” Dev Areen said.
The guards spoke at the same time as their crowing leader, glancing at him every few seconds. They were probably translating to other languages for her cellmates. But Dev Areen had chosen very clear Earth English to deliver his message. Why was he making sure she understood this?
“Big” was pathetically inadequate to describe the prisoner who walked toward the cocky Bulrager. The guards drew weapons, slowing down the behemoth.

That's it for this week. What works and what doesn't? I'm grateful for every bit of feedback you share.

22 comments:

  1. Surely Lily is going to volunteer, too. Or maybe he'll 'volunteer' her.

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  2. I will bet that the "Big" prisoner could do with a lot more food!
    I am interested to find out how Dev separates Lily from the pack. Excellent snippet, as always, Teresa!

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  3. Sounds like he's singled her out. Whether or not that's a good thing remains to be seen. I love your 2nd to last sentence.

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  4. Wonder what they're going to have to do for that extra food?

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  5. Hmmmm, interesting choice of language there. But for whose benefit, his or hers. Or both? Pulling me in, Teresa.

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  6. I guess the big guy is most likely to need extra food. But yes, the choice of language is interesting!

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  7. Good of her to question his choice of language. Shows she's still got her wits about her.

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  8. An interesting new development...loved the details! Great snippet...

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  9. This has trap written all over it. Way to keep up the suspense!

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  10. So he definitely wants her to understand... this could either be a good thing or a bad thing. I'm inclined towards bad, but I can't wait to find out for sure...

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  11. She doesn't plan to be lunch for anyone. Terrific story well written.

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  12. Dev obviously is trying to help her, but it sounds like the behemoth is going to cause problems. Great snippet! :)

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  13. Interesting language choice! And ::gulp:: to the lumbering big guy who wants his lunch!! Nice work. :)

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  14. Hmm, it does seem like Dev might have an ulterior motive for wanting Lily to know this info. But what? At least she hasn't volunteered--yet. Great snippet!

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  15. I wonder why he has chosen her, in particular? Good snippet, you are sucking the reader in quickly!

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  16. I wonder why he wanted her to understand, is she just presuming it? And what's going to happen to the behemoth. At least she has a test subject now. Ah, are they going to have to fight each other for more food? So many questions, going to be exciting to find out. :3

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  17. I want to know how Dev is going to separate Lily from the rest. It's going to prove a challenge I bet. :)

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  18. He wants her to hear him, clearly. I suppose he thinks she'll be desperate now, or soon enough to give him what he wants.

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  19. Nicely written, Teresa! I've missed reading your work. Looking forward to more! :)

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  20. Clearly, he intends for her to jump at the opportunity. Will she bait? Great snippet, Teresa!

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