Hello
fellow warriors. :-) Happy Valentine's Day!
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This snippet is from Emmily, Unbound, an SFR story.I had another snippet ready to post, but then realized it was Valentine's Day--a day all about love. Rethought the snippet choice, and jumped further into the story (almost halfway). A week earlier, coming home from a supply run, Emmily had the opportunity to tell a State Police Trooper at a traffic stop that the man with her was an alien. She chose not to. In fact, she was terrified that they'd be hauled in and then all of the aliens would get caught. In light of that, General told her she is part of his 'crew' and has their protection now. She and General are sitting on the porch swing, and are discussing the mountain and the stars and their lives.
The Snippet:
“I always liked it, the view from here. Mom and dad loved it. Jason was never taken with it.”
There’s nothing cagey when he asks, “Jason?”
“We were married for almost twenty years.”
His head leans to the side, accessing, processing, I suspect. He’s quiet for a long time, after which, his voice—full of curiosity—pierces the still night. “Why are you no longer... married to him?”
That is a humdinger of a question. How do I answer?
That's the snippet. I've continued the story if you'd like to read more.
I could rattle off a slew of hateful reasons peppered with enough cuss words to make General blush. Or I could sit here and relish in the fact that I just now realize the heartache is no longer raw; my future doesn’t feel hopeless—as if no one will ever love me again.
I’ve moved past a plethora of things: the doubt, pain, regret and self-pity, the half-witted belief that Jason is the most wonderful man to have ever been born, and he was mine. The ridiculous and false belief—with all of its soul-scorching pain—that I’d never, ever find someone else worthy of my love, my selfless devotion, and even worse, a twisted kind of worship.
I’ve left those things behind.
I can see him so clearly now. We did love each other once, but things change, circumstances change, and somewhere along our journey, Jason stopped loving me. After that, it was only a matter of time until he met someone else.
So, I say—and surprise myself at how little emotion there is, “He left me for another woman.”
General is quiet for several minutes, as quiet as this night. The air is still. The stream below is down to a small gurgle where it flows around rocks and pebbles.
His voice, deep and rich, fills the silence, “He was a fool.”
There is no answer for that. No reply needed. I bask in the emotion rising in me.
We sit like that for a couple more minutes, absorbing the darkness pin-prickled by starlight. I shiver.
He stands and takes off his uniform jacket and slips it
over my shoulders. Then he sits next to me and says, “Is this alright?” as he
slips an arm around me and pulls me closer.
That's it for this week. Thank you so much for visiting and for reading. :-)
The working blurb for this story:
After losing everything that bound her to her ordinary and happy life, Emmily has one plan: move to the mountains and never-ever give her heart away again. But everything goes sideways when a UFO crash-lands nearby, and on a desolate road, she’s waylaid by men demanding help for their injured ‘General’. He’s confused, bleeding, and sweet Lord, good looking—even while sneering and growling at her.
Fleeing an ambush meant to kill him, Gen Rael is gravely injured when his ship crashes on Earth. The human woman his crew captures to aid them is a confounding mixture of terrified, defiant, and captivating. A female distraction is the last thing his hindered mission can afford. But this Emmily woman is cutting through the steel wall he keeps around his heart.
I love this line: "the darkness pin-prickled by starlight."
ReplyDeleteThanks, Ed. Today is your day, no? Mr. Valentine.
DeleteThis snippet is absolutely PERFECT, my friend. You captured the moment and her emotions so brilliantly. I think it's your very best writing, and that's saying something!
ReplyDeleteAwe, thank you for those encouraging words! :-)
Delete"my future doesn’t feel hopeless—as if no one will ever love me again." Perfect sentiment for Valentine's Day.
ReplyDeleteTweeted.
Thank you! :-) And thanks for the tweet!~ :-)
DeleteAww, such a sweet ending to your snippet. Perfect for Valentine's Day. (Great choice!)
ReplyDeleteMissed the deadline to sign up this week, but here's my link if you'd like to visit. https://jennajaxon.wordpress.com/2021/02/14/weekend-writing-warriors-02-14-21-only-a-mistress-will-do-let-me-help-you/
Your comment made me smile! Thank you!
DeleteGreat scene of taking back strength and find the courage to accept kindness and thoughts of a future.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Nancy! It's a turning point for her!
DeleteThis is a nice sweet snippet.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Fallon! :-)
DeleteLovely snippet. Such a natural flow to it. And the ending--perfect!
ReplyDeleteI am so happy you like it, ALexis! :-) Thank you !
DeleteIt's a sad, yet sweet snippet. I can feel the slow connection forming between the two of them.
ReplyDeleteWoot! So glad you feel it forming. :-) Thanks! :-)
DeleteA very emotional scene, quite deep. Very well done!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Jean! :-) High praise. :-)
DeleteOoh - sweet and he's not a fool!
ReplyDeleteHaha! Thanks, Aurora! :-)
DeleteWonderful to see her work the truth of her history, and then be able to distance herself, and open up to the new possibility sitting next to her.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Sheri! Ir is a defining moment in their relationship. :-)
DeleteThis is a good guy. I love how natural the dialogue is.
ReplyDeleteI hope readers ultimately think that about him. He's tough as they come, keeping his people safe. Thanks!
DeleteThat was the right answer. I like this guy. He recognizes quality, even if her ex didn't.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Diane! I've worked hard to take off his rough edges. lol
DeleteI loved the emotional scene. Well done.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Karen! :-)
DeleteRomance is in the air, even on differing planets.
ReplyDeleteA nicely written snippet. I too think that Jason was a fool, but it sounds as if Emmily is better off without him.
ReplyDelete