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A collection of snippets of the books I write and, occasionally, my life and the things that inspire my writing...

Sunday, June 6, 2021

WeWriWa: EU 76


 


Welcome to Weekend Writing Warriors. IHappy June! If you'd like to participate or read tempting morsels from other authors, please sign up--or check the linky list at: http://wewriwa.blogspot.com/ 

Also, check out the Snippet Sunday group on facebook. 

This snippet is from Emmily, Unbound, an SFR story. Emmily is on a supply run, and Adren (the youngest looking alien) is with her this time. He's just revealed to her that they will harm bystanders to keep her from exposing them to authorities. 

Several of you commented last week that my focus on Adren might be confusing to the reader about who is actually our heroine's romantic interest. The chapter I've been sharing is about a third of the way through the story, and is another supply run--which I've used as a vehicle to help flesh out  other characters within the group. One-on-one time with Emmily. Some may get side stories down the line. From this point forward, my hope is that the reader will feel like they know Adren a bit better, and possibly sympathize with him. I think that in the larger context of the story, it's obvious that her romantic interest is Genrael. That doesn't mean I'm discounting the comments and advice you generously shared with me last week. I'm learning. :-) And I do put them to good use. It's on my list to take another look at physical descriptions and see where they might need to be made less appealing through Emmily's eyes.

I'm finishing this chapter today, and will move on to a chapter where Emmily and Genrael's romance is the focus.  

Last week ended with:  His eyes ignite with a fire I didn’t think he possessed.

The Snippet:         

  

“The truth? I know it well. That Genrael, Kade, Jayla, Kuvio, Breen and me? Our truth is that we are stranded a long way from the safety and familiarity of our home. How or why we are here does not matter, but the reality is that we are. And we are not going anywhere until our rescue arrives." He pauses, then his voice cracks when he adds, "We are doing what anyone would do facing the same peril. Only what we must to survive.” 

     Yet again, he has rendered me speechless. 

     As I stare at him, he says in a voice gone so soft, I strain to hear him. “And we are trying to do it without harming others.” 

     My anger turns to heartache. He might tell me he’s older than me, but this… this crash that left them stranded a zillion miles from home for all I know, has rendered him in some ways no more than a frightened child. And still, there is goodness in him.

    My eyes swim. For how messed-up this whole situation is. For their terrifying  current life’s reality, In some convoluted way, I’m sympathizing with them all, like it’s okay, perfectly fine that I’m their hostage, keeping them safe until they can all go home.

   “I would do the same,” I tell him. “to survive, if I had to.” 

    He never even pointed a weapon at me. He used a threat, which I now suspect was an empty one. 

    I pull back onto the road and head toward home.


That's it for this week. Scene change coming up. Thank you so much for visiting and for reading. :-)

 

16 comments:

  1. I'd feel pretty scared if I ended up a zillion miles from home! Great snippet showing her sympathy for them.
    Tweeted.

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  2. This puts it all in perspective for her. I'd be freaked out if I was stranded with strangers in a strange new world. No friends, no allies and you had to rely on someone you were keeping as a hostage. Not a great situation at all. Loved the snippet.

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    1. Thanks, Karen! Flipping it on its head is a learning moment. :-)

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  3. This passage makes it clear how appealing, how vulnerable Adren and all of them are. And I'm glad Emmily sees that now. I wonder how this is going to change the group dynamic with her? Great snippet!

    I didn't make the cut off to sign up. Here's my link if you'd like to visit! https://wp.me/p1gshm-3jf

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    1. It does change the dynamics. But she's stubborn about Rael. And he's stubborn too. At least he'll admit it to himself. :-) Thanks for visiting, Jenna!

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  4. Oh dear, I promised myself not to comment on the romance aspects but just one more input and THEN I'll shut up. Promise. Romance readers expect to meet the hero right away and to begin caring about him and the heroine right away. Not one third of the way through the book, after she's had all this time with other guys. Romance readers can be very picky about their expectations. Depends on your goals for writing the book, I guess, and any other future books. Best wishes with the project! I'm going to refrain from commenting for a while because it is still a WIP after all and I'm sure you don't need my harping on it! But I do love your voice and Emmily is an interesting, relatable heroine. So, well done there!

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    1. Please, please, please never stop commenting on what needs to be commented on! I do learn from it, and am ever grateful for your willingness to share your knowledge. Thank you, Jean--and many hugs!

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  5. The truth at last? I think she is doing the same - trying to survive her own tragedy without hurting others.

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    1. She is, Aurora. They are all learning and adjusting. Thanks for visiting!

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  6. Good job of making them 'human' and relatable. It also helps complicate Emmily's situation! PS I forgot to push the Publish button on my post! It's up now, if you'd like to visit.

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  7. I'm really enjoying this story, Teresa. You've done such a good job of adding texture to events, as with this scene of Adren.

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  8. We understand the aliens better now, and I think she does too.

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  9. I think the fact that they are stranded so far from home and are vulnerable while waiting to be rescued makes them very sympathetic characters, regardless of the "empty" threats they may give. Enjoying this story!

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  10. We're definitely learning more about the aliens. I think things might be clearer reading the whole story rather than just snippets, since at least for me, things get mixed up with other snippets after a time!

    Your post is included in this week's Roost Recommendations. I share the Roost Recommendations posts on Twitter with readers looking for their next read.
    https://ornerybookemporium.blogspot.com/2021/06/roost-recommendations-8-june-2021.html

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  11. Julie Evelyn JoyceJune 13, 2021 at 10:54 AM

    I've enjoyed watching her transformation and growth throughout this journey. You've really created a relatable character in Emmily. And I can totally understand how she's empathetic of the aliens knowing all they've been through as well.

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