Returning to ATNS this week.
Marissa has spent a few nights at a homeless shelter. Her clothing--from donations made to a local church, is new to her. She's clean, her hair is combed, and she isn't carrying her ratty backpack. She's just recognized that people are acknowledging her as she walks, that she is no longer part of the invisible and unwanted homeless.
"Ready to cross the
street, rage blinding her, she stepped off the curb to the sound of tires
screeching. Looking through the windshield of the abruptly stopped car, she was
met with a face full of annoyance. But
as the driver held her eyes, he motioned with his hand for her to cross and
then he smiled.
She started
walking, but then stopped, brought her fist down on the hood of his car and
shouted, “I was a human yesterday too!
The tires squealed
in reverse, the driver backing up just enough to swerve around her. “Crazy bitch!”
All comments, opinions, criticisms, greatly appreciated and graciously acknowledged. Thanks for visiting, and have a wonderful week, all. :-)
Teresa,
ReplyDeleteI love your Six Sentences! Thank you for visiting my blog. Lovely to meet you!
Rionna
Thank you, Rionna. It's nice to meet you too. Thanks for visiting :-)
DeleteReally interesting snippet. And she is right, she was a human yesterday...and the day before... and the day before, etc.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Gayle :-) !
DeletePeople suck sometimes.
ReplyDeleteYeppers, sometimes they do, Kate. Thanks for visiting :-)
DeleteCool excerpt, Teresa :) We have a common theme in our WIPs I think, and we express it so differently. Writing is wonderful! I understand Marissa's inability to just nod at the driver and move on; she really comes across as 3D to me.
ReplyDeleteBoy, is she struggling. You've captured the emotional toll of homelessness so well with her.
DeleteThanks, Owly! I hope your bunny is getting better. :-)
DeleteThanks, Monica. I'm feeling a bit inept of late, so rereading some books that were fantastic (GUG is one) to see what knowledge I can absorb.
DeleteThanks for visiting. :-)
Wow. This is a "gut-punch" scene--powerful and revealing something about her. Well done!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Silver :-)
DeleteLove this six - you have given us a real in-depth glimpse of her emotions here.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Paula! :-)
DeleteTeresa, I think this just might be one of the best snippets you've posted. You've done a great job showing her struggle, and how it effects others. Excellent job!
ReplyDeleteWhew! ~blushing~ Thanks, Jess! :-)
DeleteLots of action! And frankly, crazy bitches are the best. :)
ReplyDeletelol, "And frankly, crazy bitches are the best." Thanks, Kylie! :-)
DeleteThis is a fantastic six, Teresa! Love how she sees such a difference and how she reacts to it.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Lorraine! :-)
DeleteYou are really getting into this character.
ReplyDeleteYeppers, Sue Ann. I hope it translates into the reader getting into the character, too. Thanks!
DeleteThat was a powerful six. So sad how this depiction is true in the real world.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Donna :-) Yes, truly sad...
DeleteEasy to identify with Marissa here, in her emotions and in the situation. We are hard wired socially to ignore what doesn't fit the norm, I think that is the saddest thing, that people just act on this instinct without thinking.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Lily. I'm glad the snippet seems to be making people think. Fiction--entertaining, but made made better if it (subtly) includes a bigger message. :-)
DeleteWow. This exudes powerful emotions. She has every right to be upset. Love the action with the car. And, his line was probably appropriate even though it was rude of him.
ReplyDeleteHi Carrie :-) Thanks for giving it a read. Glad the emotions came through loud and clear. :-) !
DeleteThis sounds like such a great idea. I may have to participate. Im really curious of where the story goes. :)
ReplyDeleteMaribeth
Hi Maribeth. Thanks for visiting. I'm glad the snippet has made you curious. :-) I sure hope you give it (SSS) a try. :-)
ReplyDelete