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A collection of snippets of the books I write and, occasionally, my life and the things that inspire my writing...

Sunday, October 28, 2012

Six Sentence Sunday: October 28th, 2012

For anyone who doesn't know, Six Sentence Sunday is a bloghop--and one of the friendliest. Participants post six sentences of their writing, then the fun begins. Readers hop from blog to blog, sharing opinions, critiques and encouragement.  We know what a solitary pursuit writing is--and Six Sentence Sunday is a great way to meet other writers, and take a break from our solitude. Complete rules and a sign up form are at the site here.
 
Returning to ATNS this week.   
Marissa has spent a few nights at a homeless shelter. Her clothing--from donations made to a local church, is new to her. She's clean, her hair is combed, and she isn't carrying her ratty backpack. She's just recognized that people are acknowledging her as she walks, that she is no longer part of the invisible and unwanted homeless.


 
"Ready to cross the street, rage  blinding her, she stepped off the curb to the sound of tires screeching. Looking through the windshield of the abruptly stopped car, she was met with a face full of annoyance.  But as the driver held her eyes, he motioned with his hand for her to cross and then he smiled.

She started walking, but then stopped, brought her fist down on the hood of his car and shouted, “I was a human yesterday too!

The tires squealed in reverse, the driver backing up just enough to swerve around her. “Crazy bitch!”



All comments, opinions, criticisms, greatly appreciated and graciously acknowledged.  Thanks for visiting, and have a wonderful week, all. :-)

30 comments:

  1. Teresa,

    I love your Six Sentences! Thank you for visiting my blog. Lovely to meet you!

    Rionna

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    1. Thank you, Rionna. It's nice to meet you too. Thanks for visiting :-)

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  2. Really interesting snippet. And she is right, she was a human yesterday...and the day before... and the day before, etc.

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    1. Yeppers, sometimes they do, Kate. Thanks for visiting :-)

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  4. Cool excerpt, Teresa :) We have a common theme in our WIPs I think, and we express it so differently. Writing is wonderful! I understand Marissa's inability to just nod at the driver and move on; she really comes across as 3D to me.

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    1. Boy, is she struggling. You've captured the emotional toll of homelessness so well with her.

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    2. Thanks, Owly! I hope your bunny is getting better. :-)

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    3. Thanks, Monica. I'm feeling a bit inept of late, so rereading some books that were fantastic (GUG is one) to see what knowledge I can absorb.

      Thanks for visiting. :-)

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  5. Wow. This is a "gut-punch" scene--powerful and revealing something about her. Well done!

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  6. Love this six - you have given us a real in-depth glimpse of her emotions here.

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  7. Teresa, I think this just might be one of the best snippets you've posted. You've done a great job showing her struggle, and how it effects others. Excellent job!

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  8. Lots of action! And frankly, crazy bitches are the best. :)

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    1. lol, "And frankly, crazy bitches are the best." Thanks, Kylie! :-)

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  9. This is a fantastic six, Teresa! Love how she sees such a difference and how she reacts to it.

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  10. You are really getting into this character.

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    1. Yeppers, Sue Ann. I hope it translates into the reader getting into the character, too. Thanks!

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  11. That was a powerful six. So sad how this depiction is true in the real world.

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  12. Easy to identify with Marissa here, in her emotions and in the situation. We are hard wired socially to ignore what doesn't fit the norm, I think that is the saddest thing, that people just act on this instinct without thinking.

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    1. Thanks, Lily. I'm glad the snippet seems to be making people think. Fiction--entertaining, but made made better if it (subtly) includes a bigger message. :-)

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  13. Wow. This exudes powerful emotions. She has every right to be upset. Love the action with the car. And, his line was probably appropriate even though it was rude of him.

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    1. Hi Carrie :-) Thanks for giving it a read. Glad the emotions came through loud and clear. :-) !

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  14. This sounds like such a great idea. I may have to participate. Im really curious of where the story goes. :)

    Maribeth

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  15. Hi Maribeth. Thanks for visiting. I'm glad the snippet has made you curious. :-) I sure hope you give it (SSS) a try. :-)

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