Six Sentence Sunday is a bloghop--and one of the friendliest. Participants post six sentences of their writing, then the fun begins. Readers hop from blog to blog, sharing opinions, critiques and encouragement. We know what a solitary pursuit writing can be--and Six Sentence Sunday is a great way to meet other writers, and take a break from our solitude. Complete rules and a sign up form are at the site here.
Returning to my WIP, ATNS. A snippet from a dream sequence. Cuylrh has taken Marissa to a place he's never shared with a woman. A hilltop on a world near the outer rim of the night sky. She fell asleep beside him after they watched the sunset. And now he can't sleep. His conscience is tearing him apart. He has sinned in the eyes of his Giver, broken a rule of his faith, and possibly committed treason by taking the Earth woman. He has to make a decision, and he and Marissa could pay dearly if he follows his heart.
“Roadmaps. That’s what shone above Cuylrh. But they were more
than that. A connection to the Giver, a constant reminder that there's more
to this existence than one lifetime.
Somewhere, out among the vastness
of that road-map of stars, likely beyond any familiar part of it, Rissa’s world
must be turning. Fate had brought her to
him. And in his heart of hearts, he knew there was no sin in what he’d
done. It would have been a sin if he’d
left her behind. He sighed. Others would
see it differently."
Let me have it. :-) Comments, suggestions, criticisms? All much appreciated.
Please visit the other Sunday sixers here: sixsunday.com
I LOVE the imagery of the road map of stars. And what a dilemma but that's going to make a great story. Well done!
ReplyDeleteThanks for your kind words, Silver! :-) And thank you for visiting.
DeleteTeresa, this is a lovely snippet. The sentences flow together. Well done!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Jess! On my way over to see how Grace is doing. :-)
DeleteI really like that he's having a serious struggle. It's not just one issue. He sounds like somebody she could really appreciate if he decides to commit to her. Nice excerpt.
ReplyDelete(only other comment is that you use "roadmap" as one word and then use it with a hyphen, but that's minor)
Thanks Owly! You are sharp, girl! Nothing gets past you. :-)
DeleteDetails are my thing :D
DeleteIt's great that he is so sure of his previous actions despite what others may believe. :)
ReplyDeleteSimply delicious. Always is with your excerpts. Love your lyrical style Teresa! ;)
ReplyDeleteThis is wonderful, Teresa. The inner and external conflict, the use of religion, the stars as roadmap -- all wonderful. I can't wait to read this book!
ReplyDeleteWow, Teresa! There is a lot of conflict and stakes in this! Great six!
ReplyDeleteYikes, looks like he's got quite the dilemma! Great 6!
ReplyDeleteDream sequence? Whose dream?
ReplyDeletePoor soul, torn between his faith and his love.
ReplyDeleteYou really know how to draw a picture with words. He is a strong and complex character.
ReplyDeleteRoad map of stars is lovely imagery- see the hyphen/not hyphen has already been spotted! Hoping love wins :-)
ReplyDeleteTeresa, I have a question to ask you and don't have a private email for you. Could you contact me off list?
ReplyDeletemariehallwrites@gmail.com :)