Week 8: "A chade fight..."
Give it a try--we're a pretty nice bunch of people. :-)
This week, returning to my WIP, ATNS, and immediately following last week's 8 sentence post (if you want to read it first, it's Here. This takes place about half way through the story.
Rissa has just spent two months being trained to use a sword, trial by fire--eat, drink, sleep, think sword. This scene is the third post of a sword fight where she bested Dhurstan. He's one of Cuylrh's guards and also his oldest friend. Dhurstan despises Rissa-- the woman from a place called Earth, who has taken his place in his friend's heart. Cuylrh is the young King of Rialt, next in line to rule.
"Cuylrh’s expression softened into one of growing amusement—the first time he had appeared untroubled since Rissa’s swordplay began. A smile tugged at the corners of his lips, and one eyebrow raised while looking at his friend’s face. Then with the slightest hint of teasing evident, he calmly quoted the words Dhurstan had spoken on the day Rissa’s training began. “I recall you announcing to all of us that there was more to sword fights than swords?”
While those words settled out of the air, the defeated guard’s defiant whining was set to rest-- along with any possible intervention on the young King’s part. Dhurstan’s face flushed red then his gold eyes looked up at Rissa’s where she glowered above him.
She was a wound spring, her teeth yet clenched, and her knuckles were white where one hand gripped and twisted his braid, and the other, a vise grip on her sword. She narrowed her eyes while she jerked his braid again, wavering the pressure on his throat for one instant. There was no thought behind it, no design of action meant to terrify him, just rage driving her."
That's it. What jumps out at you, good or bad ? I'd love to hear it and am truly grateful for every bit of criticism, opinion, and shared wisdom.. Thank you so much for visiting!
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