Hello
fellow Warriors (and Snippeteers)!
It's time for snips and bits of amazing tales by talented
writers! Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop. Each week,
participants sign up HERE
at wewriwa.com, then post 8 to 10 sentences of their work, published or
unpublished, on their own blog to go live by before 9:00 AM Sunday,
EST. (We check signups to remove links when we don't find a wewriwa
post--to save our participants from clicking on empty links--so please
have it live by 9:00 Sunday morning--eastern USA). Then we visit each
other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a
solitary writer's heart good.
This week's snippet is from a scifi short story working title: "Sporulators".
This week's snippet is from a scifi short story working title: "Sporulators".
Here we go...
There could be a lot of reasons why planet Greenleyone was silent,
and Captain Lukarhiah Eastwold suspected
none of them were good. He tried
to keep the impatience out of his voice when he asked, “Lars, did you find out
anything? Any communication noted by passing craft?”
The pudgy man looked away from his thinker screen, pushed
his glasses up on his nose, then glanced Luke’s way. “Nothing yet, but I’m
still searching the manifests and logs of the most recent ships that passed by.
You know, Eastwold, it’s not uncommon
for distant settlement worlds to go silent for extended lengths of time. They
do have things to do other than chatting up passing craft.”
“Because you know so much about the backwaters of space,
right?” Luke had hauled a lot of different types around this godforsaken part
of the universe, but this guy, ‘Chief Agronomist’ Lars Stinson, was a real piece of work. His PhD had to be in Arrogance.
What works and what doesn't? I'm
grateful for every bit of feedback you share.
Uh-oh, sounds like maybe these two shouldn’t be stuck in a small space with each other!
ReplyDeleteYep. Not exactly well matched. :-)
DeleteThanks for visiting!
The opening line is absolutely perfect! It gives so much information and yet raises so many questions! The last line was wonderful too. :) I get the captain completely just from this.
ReplyDeleteI am so glad you got the Captain from this snippet. He has a few more layers. Deep space, well beyond any kind of civilization can be a weird place...
DeleteThanks for visiting!
Ooh, interesting stuff here! Can't wait for more, enjoyed the snippet.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Jean! Part of my writing goals for this year--finish this short story and send it off. If nothing by the end of the year, then self-publish and learn that process. I have gotten so far off the writing track... Thanks for visiting!
DeleteThis is an enticing start! In just a few sentences it promises a rough ride ahead :)
ReplyDeleteYeah, rough ride. They are so much fun to write--the way they torment each other just by proximity!
DeleteThanks for stopping, Ian!
This sucked me right in. Great set-up of both inner and outer conflict.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Alexis! :-)
DeleteFantastic snippet that hooked me instantly!
ReplyDeleteCool! Thanks, Amy! :-)
DeleteYes, although I'd agree that colonists might have other things on their minds - but that's what Luke needs to know.
ReplyDeleteYep. :-) Thanks, Aurora!
DeleteGreat first line... and you followed it right through with a fun character conflict. Nice.
ReplyDelete:-) Thanks, Eden!
DeleteI don't know if this was the was the reaction you were looking for, but this snippet had me chuckling (in a good way.) Great snippet, Reesie!!
ReplyDeleteOh, he does come across as funny, and as angry. The two really don't like each other. Eastwold has military in his background, not academia, and Lars is his polar opposite. :-) They both have some growing to do...and they are fun to write. Thanks for visiting!
DeleteVery exciting 1st sentence. Loved the last line, too.
ReplyDeleteI forgot to sign up in time, but I did post. http://dianeburton.blogspot.com/
Thanks, Diane. I got you on the list. :-)
DeleteLove the tone of this snippet, Teresa, so I know I'm going to love what comes next.
ReplyDeleteOh, I hope so! Thanks, Nancy :-)
DeleteGreat hook both at the beginning and end of this snippet, sets up the tension nicely with a slice of foreshadowing that there's going to be trouble ahead!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Hywela! :-) Yep... trouble coming. :-)
DeleteImmediately captured my attention, and I loved that last line.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Elaine! It was not in the original manuscript. It arrived while I was polishing it for wewriwa. :-)
DeleteI didn't know you could get a PHD in Arrogance - lol. Love the last line.
ReplyDeleteGreat start.
Tweeted.
Thanks, Daryl! Maybe in the future (the setting of this story) you will be able to. ;-)
DeleteThat last line made me smile. :) I kind of agree, radio silence is suspicious, especially if it's unusual.
ReplyDeleteYep. Silence is a bad sign in this case. :-) Thanks, Caitlin!
DeleteYou've simply got to tell me: where can I get an online degree in Arrogance?
ReplyDeleteLolol...well, Ed, the first thing we have to do is invent a time travel machine to move ahead into the setting of this story. lol
DeleteThanks!
You captured my attention. I'm intrigued to know more.
ReplyDeleteI happened to glance at Ed's comment. Love it! lol
That Ed--ain't he somethin'??? ;-)
DeleteThanks, Karen :-)
Oh, I love the tension you've created between the two of them in this snippet! Well done! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks, Jessica! :-)
Delete