Welcome to Weekend Writing Warriors
It's time for snips and bits of amazing tales by talented
writers! Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop. Each week,
participants sign up HERE
at wewriwa.com, then post 8 to 10 sentences of their work, published or
unpublished, on their own blog to go live by 9:00 AM Sunday,
EST. Then we visit each
other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a
solitary writer's heart good.
Snippet Sunday group from facebook--not us, but many of our participants do both, can be found HERE
This week's snippet is from my WIP, "The Sands of Dhor". Lily, abducted from Earth by alien slavers, is with Theusand--who seems to have rescued her from the slavers. His race can communicate mind to mind. They have stopped on a world while en-route to his Dominion. They're visiting people he knows. She suspects he has some connection to them that he is keeping from her. They live in a cave system to escape detection of slavers. It's evening and their underground village is gathering. Storytime. The Elder Spense is the first to speak. Last week's snippet ended with: "
Snippet Sunday group from facebook--not us, but many of our participants do both, can be found HERE
This week's snippet is from my WIP, "The Sands of Dhor". Lily, abducted from Earth by alien slavers, is with Theusand--who seems to have rescued her from the slavers. His race can communicate mind to mind. They have stopped on a world while en-route to his Dominion. They're visiting people he knows. She suspects he has some connection to them that he is keeping from her. They live in a cave system to escape detection of slavers. It's evening and their underground village is gathering. Storytime. The Elder Spense is the first to speak. Last week's snippet ended with: "
It was a child’s story, much like a fairy-tale, but no real world could be so beautiful, so peaceful, so full of
wonders.
Creative punctuation ahead:
“Our people...” he looked around at the
children,” Your people, came from the stars, the panspora, spread out as the night sky above.
They answered the call to a garden where they would be safe, welcome, and living amongst neighbors they would not fear.
“And so they came: The builders, the
cooks, the people who worked the land, singers and storytellers, poets and dreamers, those who would lead--and those who would follow." He paused, probably for
effect, then added, "And it was good."
“Their journeys were hard but they were accomplished
with glad determination. Our people were coming home, and all of its comforts
waited for them."
I suspect there's a big "but" coming -- something that'll shatter this bucolic peace. Know why I think this? Because you're a writer, and writers cause trouble.
ReplyDeleteYour comment has kept me smiling all week. I love it--and will likely quote you from time to time. Thanks, Ed!
DeleteThat's a really beautiful origin story, though I also suspect it's about to take a darker turn.
ReplyDeleteUh huh. A very dark turn. Thanks Carrie-Anne. :-)
DeleteYeah, nothing is that good. At least for long.
ReplyDeleteYep, not for long. :-) Thanks, Fallon.
DeleteSounds like a fairy tale. Yet, they are hiding from the slavers. I'm curious as to what happened. Intriguing!
ReplyDeleteYes and yes. The explanation is coming up soon in the story. :-) Thanks, Jessica!
DeleteI'm waiting for the big ships to descend. But where is Lord Sand?
ReplyDeleteBig ships are key. Lord Sand aka Theusand is sitting next to Lily, listening to the tales. Thanks, Aurora!
DeleteSo interesting with his conversation. I sense romance in a difficult way.
ReplyDeleteOh, there is, and it is in a difficult way. Can't fool you, my friend! :-)
DeleteI can hear the next word this person is going to utter "BUT"...there must be a catch if they're now living in caves etc. An engrossing part of this overall story for sure. I really enjoyed the snippet.
ReplyDeleteMuch more ahead. Thanks, Jean! :-)
DeleteLove, love, love the dialogue here! So vivid and visual. Great work, my friend! :)
ReplyDeleteWhy thank you, Ms Julie! :-)
DeleteLovely vision, but I'm also waiting for the "and now we're hiding in caves" explanation. Great story stuff.
ReplyDeleteYep. There is a reason, indeed. Thanks, Alexis!
DeleteUh oh... In the beginning, all was perfect... then came the snake...
ReplyDeleteIndeed! Thanks, Sue!
DeleteLike others, I'm waiting for the great big "but"!
ReplyDeleteStay tuned. ;-) Thanks, Ian.
DeleteGreat visual and I am expecting a "but"...
ReplyDeleteTweeted.
Danger... "but" ahead. :-)
DeleteThanks, Daryl!
After all this lovely description, why do I get the feeling there's a very familiar snake in this "Garden of Eden?" Hmmm? :) Nicely done!
ReplyDelete:-) You caught the allusions.
DeleteThe snake is about to come from afar. The big deal is who turns out to be the head of the snake.
Thanks Jenna!
Your snippets always make me want to read more! :D
ReplyDeleteThanks, Amy! That comment made my day!
DeleteWhy do I worry this story won't have a happy ending?
ReplyDeleteHa! A bit too good to last. Thanks for visiting, Christina!
DeleteThat whole story is rather poetic. Alas, I bet something bad will probably happen to spoil it.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Elaine. :-) Where would our stories be without twists and turns...
Delete...And then the hammer came down.
ReplyDeleteGreat snippet.
:-) One way of putting it. :-) Thanks, Aldrea.
DeleteI'm enjoying the mythology. I curious to know how the story ends. I'm assuming not so well.
ReplyDeleteYeah, paradise never lasts. Thanks, Karen. :-)
Delete