Welcome to my world and beyond...

A collection of snippets of the books I write and, occasionally, my life and the things that inspire my writing...

Saturday, January 28, 2023

WeWriWa: DK January 28, 2023


Welcome to a weekly post of Weekend Writing Warriors. If you'd like to check it out or give it a try, click here to go to wewriwa.blogspot.com

I've jumped back to Lily's story formerly referred to as Dai Klavven. That name is changing, but I haven't chosen the new name yet. For the time being, it will remain just 'DK'. 

So, moving forward. I'm working on finishing DK. My muse is being awfully quiet though. :-(   In this excerpt--the setup: Lily has been saved from the Bulragers by a "Sand" named Theusand. Sands can speak mind to mind. They are still traveling toward Theusand's home world, Tebrig, on the ship Lily was imprisoned on, but she's no longer in the lower level as a prisoner. She and Theusand are visiting a remote world where people are in hiding. Tonight, after dinner, they sit around in candlelight, telling stories and imbibing. 

Last week's snippet ended with: "“Our people...” he looked around at the children before continuing,” Your people, came from the stars spread out as the night sky above. They answered the call to a garden where they would be safe, welcome, and living amongst neighbors they would not fear.

“And so, they came: The builders, the cooks, the people who worked the land, singers and storytellers, poets and dreamers, those who would lead--and those who would follow." He paused, probably for effect, then added, "And it was good."

“Their journeys were hard but they were accomplished with glad determination. Our people were coming home, and all of its comforts waited for them."

“Water babbled in streams, water so sweet one could barely drink his fill. Aromatic clovers grew on vast plains where wild creatures grazed without fear of man. Children made chains of the flowers that dotted the hills and valleys.”

He reached into a cloth sack and pulled out necklaces made from the thin, silvery leaves she’d seen outside. Children eagerly grabbed for them as he handed them out. Every child thanked him, save for the babies too young to talk.

A little bit more if you're interested.

 When everyone was settled again, Spense looked at something distant, something Lily couldn’t see. She suspected none of them saw it because it was somewhere in his memories. His eyes misted over. “Children… We were all children then, relishing the innocence of a world unchallenged by hatred or greed. Our world was a garden, and peace and love were the crops we grew."

That's the snippet. Thank you so much for visiting. This is a WIP so comments are especially appreciated. :-)


  1. Sounds like paradise. I really like the detail of the silver leaf necklaces for the children.

  2. What a wonderful vision he gives them (along with hope!). Something worth pursuing at any risk.

  3. Sounds like a really nice place

  4. A lovely vision with a hint of premonition - the serpent is lurking!

  5. Love the bit about her not being able to see what he saw because it was in his memory. Tweeted.

  6. Great snippet. Like Veronica said, there is a lyrical aspect to it. Love it.

    I know you said WIP and you probably will catch this during edits, but you have closing quotations mid conversation after paragraph break.

  7. The bittersweet sense you give us in this scene... It's a tale told in a billion voices, and yet...

  8. I love his storytelling. Beautiful yet poignant.

  9. Nice descriptions. Last paragraph is very thought provoking.