Weekend Writing Warriors April 1, 2018

Happy Easter--if you celebrate. Happy Passover, if you celebrate. Otherwise, happy Sunday!

It's time for snips and bits of amazing tales by talented writers! Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop. Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 to 10 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, on their own blog to go live by before 9:00 AM Sunday, EST. Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good. 
             Snippet Sunday group from facebook--not us, but many of our participants do both, can be found HERE
            This week's snippet is from "The Sands of Dhor".  Lily, abducted from Earth by alien slavers, is with Theusand. He's not a slaver--and he saved Lily, sort of.  He's Dhor'en; they communicate mind to mind. 
            They've left the section of the ship where he and his Chays (monks) are quartered, and have arrived at what she thinks might be the helm of the ship she's on. Her worst nightmare is coming true. She thought she'd gotten away from the slavers, but Dev Areen has just appeared before them and Theusand and the Bulrager are having a tense exchange.

Last week's snippet ended with a growing war of words over slave rights while on board the ship.  "Dev Areen crowed, “Three of them vanished after you insisted the ship’s medical staff look over anyone who may have been injured.” The excerpt:

“In an illegal fight ring.”

“Illegal on your decks of the ship, permissible on mine.”

“There were dozens injured. I am bound by Dhor’en law to ensure that all occupants of this vessel are not harmed while under my watch.”

“Not my slaves; your law does not apply to them.”  

Theusand’s wall narrowed in her mind, tightening ever as he continued, excluding the bulrager. Somehow, Lily remained privy to the exchange when he asked the Captain,“Who negotiated this contract? It could be overruled if its terms are in any way unethical, or if there were irregularities in the negotiations.”

There was no mistaking the fear when the Captain raised his face and said, “The terms were set by and agreed upon by His Eminence, Lord Milsand Dhor”

Uh oh... Who is Milsand to Theusand, and how much power does he have that he can ignore Dhor'en law? That's it. All opinions greatly appreciated. :-) Thank you so much for visiting and for reading!

Weekend Writing Warriors August 27, 2017

It's time for snips and bits of amazing tales by talented writers! Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop. Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 to 10 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, on their own blog to go live by before 9:00 AM Sunday, EST. (We check signups to remove links when we don't find a wewriwa post--to save our participants from clicking on empty links--so please have it live by 9:00 Sunday morning--eastern USA. Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good. 
             Snippet Sunday group from facebook--not us, but many of our participants do both, can be found HERE
             This week's snippet is from "The Sands of Dhor". Lily, abducted from Earth by alien slavers, is following Theusand. He'd not a slaver.  He's Dhor'en; they communicate mind to mind. 
            They've left the section of the ship where he and his Chays (monks) are quartered. It's the first time she's left that deck since Lord Sand rescued her from the slave fight ring in the belly of the ship.  He has just accused her of being irrational.   She accused him of causing her irrationality. Then he did a very human thing--laughed, and it has begun to thaw her heart. The last sentence posted last week was spoken by Theusand: “There are worse things I could cause you to do.”

Continuing from there...

"Yeah. And I bet before you get me back to Earth, I’ll have experienced all of them.”

His voice went back to cool and even, his smile and his laughter gone. “As I said, I have assimilated the content of your books of learning. “

“When? Wait. How...why did you do that?” 

“None of that is necessary to complete this conversation. 'Higher education’ as your people refer to it, specifically health--have you studied health?”

 That last question sounds like bait to me. What an emotional rollercoaster ride he is, huh? She just gets a little soft spot for him, and then he turns back on the arrogance, full force. Or is there another reason his mirth vanished?

What works and what doesn't? I'm grateful for every bit of feedback you share.

The following photo shows where I was last week. We drove south several states to see totality. Very cool...

Weekend Writing Warrior: September 20, 2015

Hello, Warriors! :-) I don't know about where you guys are, but it feels like fall here tonight.

Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop. Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 to 10 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, to go live between noon, Saturday, and 9:00 AM Sunday EST. Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good. 
                 Snippet Sunday group from facebook--not us, but many of our participants do both, can be found HERE

              This is Chapter 4 from my SFR WIP, Across The Night Sky . The protagonists have just defended against a second onslaught by the predators. Kuylrh is alert now, and Rissa is doctoring him. Last week's snippet ended with this sentence: "At least semi-darkness and absolute fatigue cloaked the moment."       

Creative punctuation alert. 

We continue from there :

            “She pressed against him while she worked the fabric--which turned out to be a scarf, around his back. He leaned his face into her at just about bra level, his warm breath making her acutely aware of how cold she was. Then he jerked, catching his breath, and moaned.

“You’ll be okay.” She finished drawing the fabric around him, then leaned back to even the ends. She watched him purposelessly—and shamelessly give her a survey starting at her neck, down to her breasts, lingering, and on down to her navel. “What a surprise. Knocking on death’s door, and yet…"  She shook her head at him, feigning a scold. "The award for best portrayal of a typical man goes to my golden-eyed friend…”

.

 

That's it. What works? What doesn't? I'm so very grateful for any comment or criticism you leave. :-)

Weekend Writing Warriors: June 21, 2015

 

Happy first day of summer! Well, first partial day of summer. It kicks off at 12:38 PM here. Another week has passed and it's time for the Writing Warriors to gather together again. :-)

Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop. Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 to 10 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, to go live between noon, Saturday, and 9:00 AM Sunday EST. Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good. 
                 Snippet Sunday group from facebook--not us, but many of our participants do both, can be found HERE 

This is Chapter 3 from my SFR WIP, Across The Night Sky . The heir to the throne has been abducted, and his guards are traveling in space, watching the scanners while they try to find him. The final sentence last week was spoken by Abraxum--and the snippet cut him off  mid-sentence: " Abraxum spoke even and low. ”Weapons at the ready.

     Norstar, find the dock.”

     “I’m looking. Maybe they don’t have one. Maybe they transport themselves like they do  their captives.   Maybe…”

     “Find the dock.”

     “Yes sir.”

     Eeadartha's inexperience was obvious in his youthful, wide-eyed expression when he said, “I never thought I’d see a Science Culture ship up close like this.”

     Dhurstan shifted in his seat. “Pull up your big-guard pants, Eedar; you’re about to see it a whole lot closer.”

 

That's it. What works? What doesn't? I'm so very grateful for any comment or criticism you leave. :-)

Weekend Writing Warriors: June 7, 2015

  Hello all. I hope you had a good week--and you had lots of time to write. :-)

Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop. Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 to 10 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, to go live between noon, Saturday, and 9:00 AM Sunday EST. Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good. 
                 Snippet Sunday group from facebook--not us, but many of our participants do both, can be found HERE 

This is Chapter 3 from my SFR WIP, Across The Night Sky  . The heir to the throne has been abducted, and his guards are traveling in space, watching the scanners while they try to find him. The final 2 sentences last week, spoken by Dhurstan while co-piloting the ship.: " We have another hit behind us. And they’re not even trying to hide."

This week's excerpt picks up from there.   Note* creative punctuation may be in use.

Abraxum's hand reflexively went to the pommel of his sword. “Who or what is back there?  Another SciCult  ship?”

“Cordotions.”

“Maintain silence. No contact.”

“It might be Burmandar…he could aid us.”

“Or it might not be him. We can’t chance it.” Abraxum’s tone stifled Dhurstan's protest--just as he’d meant it to, leaving no squirm room for the rest of the men.”

 That's it. What works. What doesn't? ) I'm grateful for every comment you leave. :-)

Weekend Writing Warriors: May 24, 2015

               Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop. Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 to 10 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, to go live between noon, Saturday, and 9:00 AM Sunday EST. Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good. 
                 Snippet Sunday group from facebook--not us, but many of our participants do both, can be found HERE 

This is Chapter 3 from my SFR WIP, Across The Night Sky  . The heir to the throne has been abducted, and his guards are trying to find him. The final sentence last week was a thought by the elder guard, Abraxum: Please dear Giver, make us fast enough to reach him in time."  

My excerpt...

 Six reference points were highlighted in a three-dimensional display panel. Abraxum's eyes fixed on the flashing dot in the center, their established location. It was the source of their scan sweep, searching for a twin dot to appear. But nothing else came to life on the scanner. The situation was growing more worrisome by the minute. 

He looked at the men, then back at the scanner displays. His young guards were proceeding with a good measure of discipline. They'd reverted to their training, yet he'd still seen fear in every eye. He didn't have to tell them this was life or death, the most critical undertaking they'd ever done as a King's guard.

That's it. What works. What doesn't? ) I'm grateful for every comment you leave. :-)

If you're in the USA, no matter how you feel about war, I hope you'll take a few minutes to think about the men and women who gave all in the line of duty...

Weekend Writing Warriors March 1, 2015

"Welcome Warriors.  In light of yet another snowstorm in my part of the world," <--- I wrote that LAST week. I'm getting that weird déja vu sort of feeling.

 The first of MARCH!  We're getting there!!

  The Weekend Writing Warriors teeshirt drive is over. For anyone who ordered, you should recieve email notification if we hit the sweet-spot with enough teeshirt orders to make it finacially viable for Teespring to print them.
        Onward...Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop. Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, to go live between noon, Saturday, and 9:00 AM Sunday EST. Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good. 
          Snippet Sunday group from facebook--not us, but many of our participants do both, can be found HERE   

This is Chapter 2 from my WIP, ATNS, called "The Hunter"  where we're introduced to the male main character, Kuylrh (trying out this spelling for reaction--I changed it after suggestions made last week). They're preparing for a hunt on a remote world. Abraxum is Kuylrh's "first guard", a royal designation. He is a teacher, mentor, and bodyguard to Kuylrh.

Last week's 8 ended with this,  the final line spoken  by Kuylrh's old guard, Abraxum:
A perfectly-timed, soft whistle off to his left interrupted them. While two bird-like trills sounded, Abraxum nodded at him and said, “They approach.”

We pick up from there:

His old guard moved to the rear, close enough to assist if needed, but far enough to serve notice this was to be the young King's kill.       

Kuylrh tucked in next to a boulder taller than him and three times as wide. Behind him, from positions among various outcroppings and enormous gray-blue rocks, the rest of the guard looked on. The concentration on their faces belied their true task: not to take down an abzion, but--at all costs, to protect the young King.

Above Kuylrh, scrabble hills covered with jingyweeds blurred in the distance, framing a bluestone monolith.  Below, paths twisted and turned among stones and willowy shrubs. 

And high above it all, the Giver's sky hung in all of its azure boundlessness, mute witness to the goings on. Its seeming indifference was of no matter; like all Rialtans, the Divine plan of his life had been set at birth. 
  

           That's it. What works. What doesn't? I'm grateful for every comment you leave. :-) And thanks bunches and bunches for visiting!

Have a great week, all!