Weekend Writing Warriors: November 17, 2013

Welcome Warriors, and Snipsuns and anyone else who wanders in. Happy third Sunday in November. Yikes!  Almost time to bake pumpkin pies!  :-)

For all of you taking the NaNoWriMo plunge--Here's a BIG "You can do it-- GO WARRIORS! Just over half way there!" :-)

Weekend writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop. Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, to go live between noon, Saturday and 9:00 AM Sunday EST. Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good.

The Snippet Sunday group can be found HERE

This is from a WIP, a fantasy story. Working title is: "Taydan: Child Denied"The ruler, Deamante, has just become a father after a long labor with lots of tension in the birthing room. Heavy foreshadowing of bad things to come were in the last snippet HERE I've skipped a couple of paras which included the actual birth. It was a tension break, but...here we go again: Creative punctuation in use. :-)

The boy had blonde hair as pale as moonlight, so unlike his own dark brown, but a fine match for the mother’s; he was sure it would darken with age. 

The healer then cut the tie that had bound mother and son for months, and after giving him a once-over, wrapped the babe in a soft blanket.

A perfect moment, a snapshot in time... Deamante had never been so happy or so proud. He reached out to take the child, but the healer hesitated before handing the boy to him. In that moment, he saw something in the healer’s eyes, something in the man's furrowed brows,  in his lack of  joy for this birth. And it sent panic through the new father. 

That's it. What jumps out at you, good or bad ? I'd love to hear it and am truly grateful for every bit of criticism, opinion, and shared wisdom.  Thank you so much for visiting!

Weekend Writing Warriors: November 10, 2013

      
Welcome Warriors, and Snipsuns and anyone else who wanders in. Happy second Sunday in November. Yikes!  Almost time to bake pumpkin pies!  :-)

For all of you taking the NaNoWriMo plunge--Here's a BIG "You can do it! GO WARRIORS!" :-)

Weekend writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop. Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, to go live between noon, Saturday and 9:00 AM Sunday EST. Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good.


The Snippet Sunday group can be found HERE

This is from a WIP, a fantasy story. Working title is: "Taydan: Child Denied" I've skipped a few sentences to move it along.The ruler, Deamante, is about to become a father. His mate's sister, Crinda, has come and she's unwelcome. This week's eight is a dose of heavy foreshadowing, and a storm's blown in: Creative punctuation in use. :-)

 

Undaunted, Deamante fired back, “And look where it has brought us, Rella and me.  Look at the good coming for the Dominion, a son born this day.”

Brilliant flashes of lightning came amid resounding rumbles— a harbinger of doom. Deamante could see it— the wisdom tree standing so close to the house it was witness to this birth. Its mighty trunk, a lesson in naked strength, gave way to twisted and weak, broken and gnarled branches.  The wind roared through it, shouting to the ruler, but pride numbed his ears. He didn't hear it say, “From the mighty sometimes come the weak, a willow in the shadow of an oak."

Crinda turned away from Rella's face, and with a voice that carried more sadness now than anger, said, " I've been looking, Deamante, and  don't see good coming; I see sorrow. And most of tomorrow's sorrows were sown a long time before today.”

That's it. What jumps out at you, good or bad ? I'd love to hear it and am truly grateful for every bit of criticism, opinion, and shared wisdom.  Thank you so much for visiting!

WEEKEND WRITING WARRIORS November 3, 2010

      
Welcome Warriors, and Snipsuns and anyone else who wanders in. Happy first Sunday in November. Yikes!  November !  :-)

For all of you taking the NaNoWriMo plunge--Here's a BIG "You can do it! GO WARRIORS!" :-)

Weekend writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop. Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, to go live between noon, Saturday and 9:00 AM Sunday EST. Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good.


The Snippet Sunday group can be found HERE

This is from a WIP, a fantasy story. Working title is: "Taydan: Child Denied"
The ruler, Deamante, is about to become a father. His mate's sister, Crinda, has come and she's unwelcome. This week's eight sheds a tiny bit of light on the bad blood between them:
Creative punctuation in use. :-)

    

Deamante looked out the window past swaying branches of a wisdom tree. The late afternoon light obscured by heavy clouds lent a strange color to the river beyond. The water itself looked red, capped with pink froth, tumbling and crashing over and around red boulders. Another booming round of thunder rolled above them, snapping his attention back to the room. “It is an omen, an omen of his strength, that something so formidable, so mighty as a storm… will sweep across my son's first breath of life.”

Without even looking away from Bella’s face, Crinda accused, “I've read my glass and bones, the real omens. Mine came as a gift; yours come now, false and hollow. Damn your pride, Deamante; you forced this. You stole her away from our people; you took a woman little more than a girl.”

That's it. What jumps out at you, good or bad ? I'd love to hear it and am truly grateful for every bit of criticism, opinion, and shared wisdom.  Thank you so much for visiting!