Welcome to my world and beyond...

A collection of snippets of the books I write and, occasionally, my life and the things that inspire my writing...

Sunday, May 24, 2015

Weekend Writing Warriors: May 24, 2015


               Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop. Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 to 10 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, to go live between noon, Saturday, and 9:00 AM Sunday EST. Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good. 
                 Snippet Sunday group from facebook--not us, but many of our participants do both, can be found HERE 
This is Chapter 3 from my SFR WIP, Across The Night Sky  . The heir to the throne has been abducted, and his guards are trying to find him. The final sentence last week was a thought by the elder guard, Abraxum: Please dear Giver, make us fast enough to reach him in time."  
My excerpt...

 Six reference points were highlighted in a three-dimensional display panel. Abraxum's eyes fixed on the flashing dot in the center, their established location. It was the source of their scan sweep, searching for a twin dot to appear. But nothing else came to life on the scanner. The situation was growing more worrisome by the minute. 
He looked at the men, then back at the scanner displays. His young guards were proceeding with a good measure of discipline. They'd reverted to their training, yet he'd still seen fear in every eye. He didn't have to tell them this was life or death, the most critical undertaking they'd ever done as a King's guard.
That's it. What works. What doesn't? ) I'm grateful for every comment you leave. :-)

If you're in the USA, no matter how you feel about war, I hope you'll take a few minutes to think about the men and women who gave all in the line of duty...

19 comments:

  1. You set a scene of tense waiting for action.

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  2. Nice tension, Teresa, makes me afraid to look away for fear something will happen! =D

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  3. Gave me the shivers Teresa!!! Hopelessness of a scanner. And your description of fear in every eye of their guards . . .expert. Love it.

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  4. I hope they do find him . . . just, maybe not right away. :)

    Excellent tension, Teresa!

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  5. This snippet had tension and fear written all over it. The guard must feel as if he's failed in his job. I do hope the find the heir. Nice snippet!

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  6. very good build up as we watch what he's watching

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  7. Some cool technology they've got- that isn't quite doing the job. :-) Nice snippet!

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  8. Oh no, I feel that there might not be any hope ... Ghe snippet is full of tension and angst. Great snippet, as always, Teresa!

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  9. I like it, tense scene. I thought the comments about the young guardsmen were excellent. Great snippet!

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  10. Sounds like it's more than just the King's life in danger here :)

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  11. Scanners surprised and excited this reader. Young guards and the old Abraxum; wonderful contrast and time is running out.

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  12. Lots of tension and angst. Nicely done.

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  13. I could feel the tension and fear. Great imagery!!

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  14. "the most critical undertaking", very serious stuff, great tension and palpable fear.

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  15. So often, people lose their senses when a high-ranking person is involved. I hope these people retain their cool and successfully locate the heir.

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  16. I find it interesting that you note that his men are young... has he no veterans at his disposal? Makes me wonder if something even more drastic has been going on all along (it must have been since their ruler has been kidnapped).

    Nice flow of how worried he is though.

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  17. I like the emphasis on the 'dot' in the first paragraph and the worry you show as he watches the scanner....really adds to tension.

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