Weekend Writing Warriors March 20, 2016

Hello all my fellow Warriors (and Snippeteers)!. :-)

Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop.  Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 to 10 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, on their own blog to go live between noon, Saturday, and 9:00 AM Sunday EST. Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good. 
              Snippet Sunday group from facebook--not us, but many of our participants do both, can be found HERE

Setup:  Earth has been invaded by aliens. Our MC, Lily fled on foot, pursued by aliens after lobbing a grenade at them --leading them away from a bunker where a dozen children and two old women are hiding. She's been joined by her dog, Jobe (nickname Jobo). After reaching what's left of her house and then hiding inside, they've been captured by the aliens. She just spit in the commanding alien's face. She managed to get Jobe freed--he was strangling, held by his throat. The aliens are not being gentle with her or her dog.
"She held his collar while she drooled bloody spit and tried to breath. "
We pick up from there:

The big, wasp-looking creature wiped his face. “I am Dev Areen," he said, no emotion apparent in his voice. "You will regret your disrespect for me.”   

He directed his gaze and his next words over her shoulder. “Bring them.” In spite of his even tone, a smile spread across his face, the kind of smile only a tormentor wears. He pointed at Jobe and said, “Food,” then he pointed at her and added, “Entertainment.”

    

Just when you think it can't get worse...

I did not attempt to use creative punctuation, though it may appear that way. I just spent an hour reading The Editor's Blog about punctuating dialogue.  :-) If anyone is so inclined, I'd be grateful for any feedback. :-).

Thank you for reading it. I learn from your comments--and I'm so grateful for any insight you share. Have a great week!