Hello
all my fellow Warriors (and Snippeteers)!. :-)
Happy Easter --if you celebrate. And a belated Happy Purim--if you celebrate it. To all others, happy Sunday--it's almost April! :-)
Weekend Writing
Warriors is a weekly bloghop. Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 to 10 sentences of
their work, published or unpublished, on their own blog to go live between noon, Saturday,
and 9:00 AM Sunday EST. Then we visit each other and read, comment,
critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart
good.
Snippet Sunday group from facebook--not us, but many of our participants do both, can be found HERE
Snippet Sunday group from facebook--not us, but many of our participants do both, can be found HERE
"He pointed at Jobe and said, “Food,” then he pointed at her and added, “Entertainment.” "
We pick up from there:
Screw
that.
With nothing to lose, she turned to run with Jobe, but a fist to her stomach knocked
the wind out of her. On the ground, helpless, she watched one of the aliens grab
Jobe and drag him away. Her poor dog was
no match for the creature's size and might,
but that didn’t stop him from growling and snapping anyway.
It seemed an eternity before she sucked
in air. She’d barely taken a full breath before another alien yanked her to her feet. A shove to her back sent her
stumbling after the rest. She didn’t know where they were taking her, but was
sure that no matter where it was, in the end it would turn out to be hell.”
That's the end of chapter 1.
Thank you for reading it. I learn from your comments--and I'm so grateful for any insight you share. Have a great week!
I sure hope the dog is okay!
ReplyDeleteI'm amazed at the uncompromising opinions when a dog is part of the story. :-) Thanks, Ed! :-)
DeleteI love how she is still fighting back. But, ack! I need more of this story. Great snippet, as always. I'm well invested in this story. :)
ReplyDeleteI am so glad to read your words, Jessica! Thank you!
DeleteGood snippet! I am worried for both of them. You created a scene these last few weeks where every second they're close to being killed. The tension is building!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Cindy! :-)
DeleteExcellent snippet, Teresa. I hope she gets her break soon, if I sit any closer to the edge of my seat I will fall off!
ReplyDeleteDon't fall. :-) Thank you so much, Kim!~!
DeleteNo, no, not the dog!!! Waaaaa.
ReplyDeleteI love seeing this story progress.
Jobo has a warrior with him. :-) Thanks, Cara!
DeleteGah! Not Jobe! :S Great end to the chapter, however. I loved reading it and can't wait to find out more!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Amy! :-)
DeleteNothing like a dog in jeopardy to really get readers worried! Another great snippet with a very effective ending. Hope chapter 2 is coming soon!
ReplyDeleteIt is. :-) Thank you!! :-)
DeleteAnd still the suspense goes on. I hope Jobe gives his capturers a big bite.
ReplyDeleteYou never know, Rachel. ;-) Thanks for visiting.
DeleteAliens or not, you've created a story that reads reality and you've caught this reader.
ReplyDeleteThanks, my friend! :-)
DeleteOuch! Poor Jobo! Actually, poor Lily, too - I tend to agree that unless things change dramatically she's in for a very bad time. Good snippet - more!
ReplyDeleteSquee! Thanks, Peter. Your comment made me smile! :-)
DeleteACK! What a FABULOUS cliffhanger ending for your chapter. No way anyone will put the book down without saying, "Just one more chapter"! Poor Jobe! And I reeled for her when she got the wind knocked out of her. Alien jerkwads. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks, Rose! :-) I am so happy to read your comment about not putting the book down. :-)
DeleteSounds awful! Nothing good about these aliens.
ReplyDeleteNope. These ones are truly bad. Thanks for visiting, Aurora. :-)
DeleteSounds odd, but I can't help thinking that the previous snippet would make a stronger chapter end, with this leading into the next - digging even deeper into doo-doo and the realization that the cliffhanger isn't going to get resolved any time soon :)
ReplyDeleteI'm mulling it over, Ian, not sure where to end the chapter. :-) lol Thanks for visiting!
DeleteSave the dog, save the dog!!! It's hard to read about Jobo being hauled off then you don't mention him again, but it makes perfect sense to do that. It adds to the whole feeling of fear and helplessness. Lots of tension that makes it hard to stop reading.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Ian - this excerpt would make a great chapter beginning.
Happy Easter to you and yours!
Thanks, Marcia! Still mulling over where the chapter ends. :-)
DeleteI hope you had a good Easter. :-)
Ugh, this just gets worse and worse, but in a good, page-turning way. :-)
ReplyDeleteThanks for your encouraging words, Christina!
DeleteNOOOOOO! You can't leave us hanging like this! Tense and powerful, leaving me desperate to find out what happens next!
ReplyDeleteBut, it's the end of the chapter, Tina. lol. Thanks for visiting.
DeleteI hate it when the best laid plans get laid to waste before they can ever be implemented...fun snippet.
ReplyDeleteThanks, TM :-)
DeleteAwesome snippet! I wonder what they mean by entertainment. I'm dying to find out more! Very intense! Love it, love it!
ReplyDeleteYou can bet it won't be good. :-) Thanks, Neva!
DeleteIt's difficult to do much of anything when you can't breathe... but I still hope she manages to save the dog and get away!
ReplyDeleteYep. :-) Thanks, Caitlin!
DeleteYOU are very cruel to leave us at this place. I hope both the dog and the gal are saved. Really keeps us clinging on.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Chelle! :-)
Delete