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A collection of snippets of the books I write and, occasionally, my life and the things that inspire my writing...

Saturday, April 16, 2016

Weekend Writing Warriors April 17, 2016



Hello all my fellow Warriors (and Snippeteers)!. :-) 
Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop.  Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 to 10 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, on their own blog to go live between noon, Saturday, and 9:00 AM Sunday EST. Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good. 
              Snippet Sunday group from facebook--not us, but many of our participants do both, can be found HERE


Setup:  Earth has been invaded by aliens. Our MC, Lily fled on foot. Her and her dog, Jobe, were captured by the aliens.
I've skipped ahead a couple of paragraphs. Lily is on the ground with her wrists and ankles secured. It is dawn, and the alien commander and Lily just locked eyes. She demanded to know why.

His voice, as lifeless as his pale face, was devoid of emotion—at least any she could detect. “It is business.” He came closer, leaned over and ran his hand across the scab on her cheek.
She jerked her head away and fairly growled through gritted teeth, “Don’t touch me, you liar.”
A mocking grin appeared on his face. “Liar?”
“Liar. If it were business, you’d take no pleasure, but I see how much you enjoy it.”
One scaly eyebrow went up, and his smile faded. “Your kind does not take pleasure in business?”

 Thank you for reading it. I learn from your comments--and I'm so grateful for any insight you share. Have a great week!

20 comments:

  1. Well that's an interesting question. They say don't mix the two but surely the most successful business people take pleasure in what they do?

    What's more interesting is ... what business are they in?

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  2. The worst combination - being in a very dirty business and taking pleasure from it. The commander is coming across as a very nasty piece of work. Let's hope Lily can handle him!

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  3. Ugh, I just got the chills. Looking forward to reading this story in its entirety. :)

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  4. Super creepy! I want to see more of these aliens. And I'm with Botanist...what business are they in, exactly?

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  5. Evocative! Nice job ratcheting up the tension, Teresa!

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  6. Enjoyed the tense banter, and the last question he posed is curious. I do want to know what business they have here. More snippets, please. :)

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  7. I'm not feeling good vibes here when it comes to his "business". You've left me totally curious and I'll have to have more. :D

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  8. That's a great last line and really opens up a lot of questions about these aliens, their mission and their mindset.

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  9. Love, love, love, that last line. Can't wait to read more!

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  10. Ooooh, that last line stings! Another great snippet, Teresa!

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  11. Business, huh? What might that be, or maybe we don't really want to know! Am worried about Lily more than I was before. O.O

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  12. Dang it! Don't you hate it when the bad guy makes a good point? Touche, dude. Touche. :)

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  13. LOVE the last line! Perfect. Great snippet!

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  14. Love the last two sentences. :) He seems so very perplexed by her attitude. Thanks for sharing

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  15. Wondering if "business" is a euphemism for "something else". Great snippet, as usual it grabs and doesn't let go.

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  16. Okay, he's creepy. But he's kind of got a point--just because it's business doesn't meant it can't be a little fun, I suppose.

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  17. This is a great confrontation. I loved everything about it! Great work!

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  18. This snippet raised more questions than answers, as 10-sentence fragments are wont to do. What has he done that she is able to interpret as pleasure? What business do they have here? How does he speak such perfect English? Naturally, I know I need to read more to find out.

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  19. Love the last line. Very intriguing.

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