Hello
fellow Warriors (and Snippeteers)! Happy Independence Day weekend if you are in the USA. Happy Canada Day weekend to our Canadian author friends.
It's time for snips and bits of amazing tales by talented
writers! Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop. Each week,
participants sign up HERE
at wewriwa.com, then post 8 to 10 sentences of their work, published or
unpublished, on their own blog to go live by before 9:00 AM Sunday,
EST. (We check signups to remove links when we don't find a wewriwa
post--to save our participants from clicking on empty links--so please
have it live by 9:00 Sunday morning--eastern USA). Then we visit each
other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a
solitary writer's heart good.
Snippet Sunday group from facebook--not us, but many of our participants do both, can be found HERE
This week's snippet is from "The Sands of Dhor". Lily, abducted from Earth by alien slavers, is following Theusand--he's a different kind of alien. They've left the section of the ship where he and his Chays (monks) are quartered. It's the first time she's left that deck since Lord Sand rescued her from the slave fight ring in the belly of the ship. The last lines last week were spoken by Lily: "So, tell me--in case I missed it--why do I care about these people? About any of this?”
Snippet Sunday group from facebook--not us, but many of our participants do both, can be found HERE
This week's snippet is from "The Sands of Dhor". Lily, abducted from Earth by alien slavers, is following Theusand--he's a different kind of alien. They've left the section of the ship where he and his Chays (monks) are quartered. It's the first time she's left that deck since Lord Sand rescued her from the slave fight ring in the belly of the ship. The last lines last week were spoken by Lily: "So, tell me--in case I missed it--why do I care about these people? About any of this?”
Here we go...
He closed his eyes. No sound came when his lips moved. Was he counting? His voice was
soft...too soft when he finally spoke. “Humans assimilate information differently than Dhors,
Chays, or even the lowly Bulragers."
Her fists relaxed, opening, and the tightness in her jaw released.
"There are many, many species among the
stars, countless, perhaps, but your kind is unique in myriad ways; not all of
them are beneficial." His words dripped with sweetness.
The fight inside her that had boiled to the surface mere moments before vanished. But a little voice at the edge of her thoughts warned her she was every bit as mesmerized as he'd intended.
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grateful for every bit of feedback you share.
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I'm a bit uncertain whether he's actually used some sort of mind trick to mesmerize her, or she thinks this metaphorically. This is a limitation of the small sample size, I'm sure. In a larger context, I'm sure your meaning in clear.
ReplyDeleteI see Ed's point - do you mean "fascinated"? She needs information, but how does he intend to present it?
ReplyDeleteyour kind is unique in myriad ways; not all of them are beneficial." well...can't really argue with this. Interesting snippet
ReplyDeleteI like the idea that humans interpret information differently. I may rephrase this phrase "unique in myriad ways,"this didn't really dripwith sweetness. But I think your premise is awesome.
ReplyDeleteIt's good to see and understand other species in order to understand their actions, but I hope she doesn't slip too far under his spell.
ReplyDeleteYes, I was wondering if he's mesmerizing her with some mind trick. I couldn't understand why she was relaxing when she'd been so angry, but mind control would do it. Such a wonderful story!
ReplyDeleteNice, Teresa! He's reactions aren't what she expects and she's vulnerable to his quiet intensity. Sigh . . .
ReplyDeleteOoh, so he's using his powers on her and she can feel that? Or am I going to science fiction-y here? Either way, an interesting snippet as always!
ReplyDeleteHer anger is gone, but her instincts are telling her not to trust him.
ReplyDeleteMore trouble ahead no matter how she feels. Fascinating tale, Teresa.
ReplyDeleteI too hope she won't fall too far under his spell.
ReplyDeleteInteresting how he's calming her down and she's aware of it, and struggling against it.
ReplyDeleteGreat snippet!
ReplyDeleteHe's a tricky one. She better be careful, or he'll get her to do exactly what he wants!
ReplyDeleteHe's making her calm but she's smart enough to know he's doing so. Intrigued to know more.
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ReplyDeleteInteresting snippet - is he just trying to calm her or something more sinister?
I am also mesmerized by him. Can't wait to see where this story goes.
ReplyDelete