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A collection of snippets of the books I write and, occasionally, my life and the things that inspire my writing...

Sunday, July 2, 2017

Weekend Writing Warriors July 2, 2017

Hello fellow Warriors (and Snippeteers)!  Happy Independence Day weekend if you are in the USA. Happy Canada Day weekend to our Canadian author friends.


  It's time for snips and bits of amazing tales by talented writers! Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop. Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 to 10 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, on their own blog to go live by before 9:00 AM Sunday, EST. (We check signups to remove links when we don't find a wewriwa post--to save our participants from clicking on empty links--so please have it live by 9:00 Sunday morning--eastern USA). Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good. 
             Snippet Sunday group from facebook--not us, but many of our participants do both, can be found HERE
               
  This week's snippet is from "The Sands of Dhor". Lily, abducted from Earth by alien slavers, is following Theusand--he's a different kind of alien. They've left the section of the ship where he and his Chays (monks) are quartered. It's the first time she's left that deck since Lord Sand rescued her from the slave fight ring in the belly of the ship.  The last lines last week were spoken by Lily: "
So, tell me--in case I missed it--why do I care about these people? About any of this?”  

Here we go...

He closed his eyes. No sound came when his lips moved. Was he counting? His voice was soft...too soft when he finally spoke. “Humans assimilate information differently than Dhors, Chays, or even the lowly Bulragers."
Her fists relaxed, opening, and the tightness in her jaw released. 
"There are many, many species among the stars, countless, perhaps, but your kind is unique in myriad ways; not all of them are beneficial.His words dripped with sweetness. 
The fight inside her that had boiled to the surface mere moments before vanished.  But a little voice at the edge of her thoughts warned her she was every bit as mesmerized as he'd intended.

  What works and what doesn't? I'm grateful for every bit of feedback you share.

  A short note about sidebar promos.  :-) Sidebar promos on wewriwa.com spots are available at no cost as a perk of regularly participating in Weekend Writing Warriors. If you're interested, all we need is an email from you that includes the link to the Amazon page of the book you'd like to see on our sidebar. Our email address is: wewriwa at yahoo dot com

17 comments:

  1. I'm a bit uncertain whether he's actually used some sort of mind trick to mesmerize her, or she thinks this metaphorically. This is a limitation of the small sample size, I'm sure. In a larger context, I'm sure your meaning in clear.

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  2. I see Ed's point - do you mean "fascinated"? She needs information, but how does he intend to present it?

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  3. your kind is unique in myriad ways; not all of them are beneficial." well...can't really argue with this. Interesting snippet 

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  4. I like the idea that humans interpret information differently. I may rephrase this phrase "unique in myriad ways,"this didn't really dripwith sweetness. But I think your premise is awesome.

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  5. It's good to see and understand other species in order to understand their actions, but I hope she doesn't slip too far under his spell.

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  6. Yes, I was wondering if he's mesmerizing her with some mind trick. I couldn't understand why she was relaxing when she'd been so angry, but mind control would do it. Such a wonderful story!

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  7. Nice, Teresa! He's reactions aren't what she expects and she's vulnerable to his quiet intensity. Sigh . . .

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  8. Ooh, so he's using his powers on her and she can feel that? Or am I going to science fiction-y here? Either way, an interesting snippet as always!

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  9. Her anger is gone, but her instincts are telling her not to trust him.

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  10. More trouble ahead no matter how she feels. Fascinating tale, Teresa.

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  11. I too hope she won't fall too far under his spell.

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  12. Interesting how he's calming her down and she's aware of it, and struggling against it.

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  13. He's a tricky one. She better be careful, or he'll get her to do exactly what he wants!

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  14. He's making her calm but she's smart enough to know he's doing so. Intrigued to know more.

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  15. Interesting snippet - is he just trying to calm her or something more sinister?

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  16. I am also mesmerized by him. Can't wait to see where this story goes.

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