Welcome to my world and beyond...

A collection of snippets of the books I write and, occasionally, my life and the things that inspire my writing...

Saturday, February 22, 2020

Wewriwa: EU17

Welcome to Weekend Writing Warriors! I am so glad you found your way here, especially given the website issues we're having.
      Domain issues remain.   I really think I've exhausted all avenues. Godaddy still insists this is a Google problem. Google has no real people to talk to, just bots or AI, or something that doesn't care that I've paid for two years. ~sigh~
     That having been said, I do believe that for the foreseeable future, wewriwa.blogspot.com will be our home.  
      We do need to load up our sidebars with all of your incredible books! If you'd like a promo spot on the wewriwa.blogspot blog, please send me an email with your booklinks. I'll grab the cover image from the link. My email is cypherbuss at yahoo dot com.
    Once again, thanks for bearing with us while we sort through this Google/Godaddy/domain issue.
      For the time being, please sign up at--and check the linky list to find other writers and other great snippets: http://wewriwa.blogspot.com/
     This snippet is from Emmily, Unbound, an SFR story in first-person-present. 
     There could be wonky punctuation to keep within wewriwa guidelines. Emmily, the main character, has lost pretty much everything in the last twelve months: her marriage, her parents, her job, and her house. She and her dog, Murphy, are moving to an old hunting camp her parents willed to her. It's remote, in the mountains of Pennsylvania. They've just arrived,. She's checked the cabin inside and just finished running the vacuum cleaner. When she was outside to empty the vacuum canister, she saw someone running into the woods. She dashed back inside and checked locks etc. Last week's snippet ended with this:  
Make that two Sluggers, one for the back door too, and a bear trap for the front porch.        
             Bear trap? Ridiculous, Emmily.  

  The snippet: 
               
       I need to stop my mind from continuing this wild ride it's taking me on. 
     I listen for any sounds that might be predatory. Aside from my hammering heart pounding in my ears, it's mostly quiet, just Murphy’s breathing and occasional bits of wood crackling in the red glow beyond the hearth.

     I take deep, slow, breaths and will myself to calm while I try to convince my inner scaredy-cat it was my imagination. But just in case, I go to the kitchen and grab a knife—a paring knife. Little good it will do if something big breaks through that door, but it’s all I have.

     On second thought, or maybe it’s third, or fifteenth—I’ve lost track—I grab the broom, thankful that it’s a sturdy old, full-size one. It might work better than the knife. I can whack someone from a distance with it. I pray I don’t have to use either.
          
     That's it for this week. Thanks for visiting! I am truly grateful for comments and suggestions, and for you taking the time to read it. 

34 comments:

  1. Every week I'm getting a kick from your exceptional story. Little by little, the story grows. Thanks for the interesting tale, my friend.

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    1. Thank you for stopping to read it--and for your kind words, dear friend. :-)

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  2. I love how you build suspense. I’m figuratively speaking biting my nails in anticipation of who is harassing her.

    Keep smiling,
    Yawatta

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    1. It takes so long to move forward, only 10 sentences at a time, huh? :-) Thanks for visiting, Yawatta!

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  3. In far too many stories -- and especially movies -- the woman alone in a cabin cowers helplessly. It's great that you show her everything she can to protect herself.

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    1. Thanks, Ed! She's not above reverting to a doormat, but when pushed, she's pretty feisty. :-) Thanks for your encouraging words!

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  4. I love your use of her sense of hearing. So often some of our senses get left out in descriptions, and that's such a loss. I love that you embrace them all!

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    1. Thanks, Dixie! It seems that writing first-person makes it more automatic to describe the senses. Maybe not? :-) First time I've done it.

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  5. The long-handled broom is a good idea. Keep the attacker at a distance.
    I'm guessing all this suspense is leading to a total surprise.

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    1. Thanks, Aurora! Things will calm down soon before they outright explode. I'm trying to give the reader a sense of how alone she is, and how remote the cabin is--and a glimpse of her character and how she reacts to situations. :-)

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  6. LOL! I can SO relate to her over-thinking paranoia!

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    1. Thanks, Nancy! Birds of a feather! lol

      During the day, no fear-induced neurosis, but alone in the dark? All bets are off.

      It IS an uncertain world. ;-)

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  7. You practically have my inner scardey-cat on edge with these snippets.
    Tweeted.

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    1. Sorry for the inner scaredy-cat activation, but it makes my day reading your words, Daryl! Thank you. :-)

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  8. You've done a great job capturing the nervous energy in this scene with the word choice and the punctuation. Really nice work, my friend!

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    1. Thanks so much, my friend! In the morning, we'll slow the momentum some. Right up until her situation explodes. lol

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  9. 'On second thought, or maybe it’s third, or fifteenth—I’ve lost track' - loved this. Great snippet

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    1. Cool! Glad you liked that line! Thanks, Fallon. :-)

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  10. Knives scare me so I'm glad she went for the broom. Much easier to smack someone than stab them. I'm right there with her, waiting for sunrise.

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    1. Knives are scary. Yeah, I'd want to keep some distance between me and an attacker, too.

      Sunrise will come. Tomorrow will be a crazy day for her.

      Feels like it takes so long posting this 10 sentences at a time. :-)

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  11. Well at least she's being proactive and trying to think through her panic.Not too sure any of these 'weapons' are going to actually help her though. This buildup to whatever IS going to happen is keeping me on the edge of my seat, so well done!

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  12. I'm right there in the cabin with her, trying to figure out a weapon. I have to say I don't usually enjoy books written in first person present tense, but this one is so well written I am quite engaged with it and waiting for the next installment! Well done, Teresa!

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    1. Oh, thank you, Jenna. I am tickled pink to read your words! :-) <-- BIG smile.

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  13. Absolutely agree with Jenna's comment, above. Ths is such a great story - let me know when it's published, I'd love to feature it on my blog.

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    1. I am so excited! Thanks for the offer to feature it. I get so nervous the closer I get to publishing it. Thanks, Lyn!!

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  14. LOL I totally understand her train of thought. Great snippet!

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    1. Thanks, Jessica. I'm glad to see your LOL. Her occasional forays into ridiculousness is me trying to interject humor so the book doesn't read like a drama. :-) Thanks!

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  15. I hope she doesn't have to use either weapon of choice either.

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    1. Things will calm, briefly before it all really goes sideways. :-) Thanks, Karen. :-)

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  16. Her thoughts are so believable. You've nailed her fear perfectly.

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  17. I love how you're writing this. 1st person present (pov) makes everything so immediate. I feel like I'm right there with her. Great job.

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  18. Great snippet. I love her train of thoughts, vivid, and very real!

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