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A collection of snippets of the books I write and, occasionally, my life and the things that inspire my writing...

Saturday, September 3, 2022

Weekend Writing Warriors: Across the Night Sky 32

 

 

Welcome to a weekly post of Weekend Writing Warriors. If you'd like to check it out or give it a try, click here to go to wewriwa.blogspot.com

I'm very close to asking my editor to put Emmily, Unbound into her queue. By the end of the weekend I will send that email.  And I admit, I. Am. Scared. To. Do. It.

Moving forward. Last week Veronica and Aurora pointed out that readers might not enjoy reading about real bodily functions. :-) I revisited that in my ms. and changed last week's snippet to reflect that change. The drool remains, though. :-)

This is a snippet from a WIP entitled Across the Night Sky. 

This is --I'm not sure what it is. lol. Space Opera. The romance is central. It is not HEA at the end of this book. (There are 4 books in this universe). It is a story of different cultures, different alien races, intolerance, and the tenacity of an abducted human woman dragged across the galaxy. Oh, and her love story with an alien man destined to be a ruler.

Marissa, abducted human, 20-something, is with an injured 'alien' man, Kuylerh. I'm in a new chapter. Kuylerh's rescue has arrived and once again, she's being abducted, but this time it's by his group. She's just had something used on her to subdue her.


Last week's snippet ended with:  While the old guard took a seat at what had to be the controls, her thoughts became a silent prayer. Please, wake me from this nightmare.

 

The snippet:

   

Where she sat, Rissa could only see out the little window beyond the controls, but she became surer by the second she wasn’t in Kansas anymore.

Kansas? She wasn’t even on the same planet.

Facing her abductor—that’s what he was after all--since  he’d taken her against her will—she couldn’t turn her head away.

Beyond him, through the tiny window, darkness was broken only by distant stars. In the pit of her stomach, something worse than nausea was going on. Flutters, then quivers, then it did a wallop of a somersault. Despite all the muscles ignoring her, her eyebrows were working just fine, lifting higher and higher. 

What a sight she must have been, her disbelief transforming into sheer terror right there in front of her kidnapper.  

Her mind raced. They really weren’t human, and that wasn’t Earth. 

A few more lines:

A sour taste rose in the back of her throat. Acceleration pushed her back into her seat. How had this happened? At the point of hysteria, she managed to make a sound. It was the best her paralyzed voice could pull off, and it didn’t sound at all like she was screaming for help.

 

That's the snippet. Thank you so much for visiting. This is a WIP so comments are especially appreciated. :-)

17 comments:

  1. I've had nightmares where I need to call for help and can barely get any sound out. It's terrifying. Poor Rissa!

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    1. Ugh! I really don't like nightmares. A few weeks ago I had one that woke me. Then I lay awake the rest of the night reliving it. Right now I can't even recall what it was about. Thanks for visiting, Kate!

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  2. Wow, if only it were a night terror, and she could wake up from this. Definitely a scary situation!

    Can't wait to hear more about Emmily, Unbound! You can do it!

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    1. Thanks, Jessica! I did send the email last night. It's on the schedule for late November. Excited and nervous. :-)

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  3. NOT an HEA? Then you've got scifi with romantic elements and it'll have to be carefully marketed or romance readers will be highly upset. Unless you're saying the HEA comes at the end of the four books. And scifi readers aren't too big on romance...It's 'drool' not 'droll' BTW. Not sure what's going on in her gut today but that was a very vivid description - well done.

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    1. Finally--I can leave a comment! My website has been giving me fits.

      This book is not an HEA. However, the series does have an HEA. I really don't know what genre any of my stories are. I've researched many times. The only comp title I can come up with is "Starman"--and from what I've read, it was only written after the movie was made--based on the movie. I've already conceded that they will be difficult to market due to that. They are not like the SFR that you write, nor what any of the other SFR authors I know write. My big challenge ahead, perhaps, might be to NOT market them to the wrong readers. The target audience for this book is women, 35 and up, midlife crisis readers, starting over again, readers. It isn't in my editors schedule until late November. I'm going to forget about it for a while and work on the second book after I get another project wrapped up. :-) Life is so busy. Wish I could retire now.

      Thanks for the droll/drool catch, btw. There's nothing droll about her drooling. ;-)

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  4. I caught your comment about readers not liking bodily functions - it puts us writers into such a spot - readers want the story to sound real - just not be real. As to your HEA - you do what your muse tells you. Readers will deal. As to your snippet - I am liking it. Her sense of "what is going on!!" is wonderful. Tweeted.

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    1. Thank you so much, Daryl! What you said about putting us in a spot? Oh my goodness, it's true. I'm starting to think that one lifetime isn't enough to learn all of the ins and outs of writing. :-)

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  5. Descriptions of bodily functions are tricky to write. I have had several seasick heroines so I've discovered what works and what doesn't--the hard way. Your descriptions of her bodily functions work for me, but then graphic stuff doesn't upset me when I read. You seem to understand exactly where you genre should be marketed and that's a good thing! If there's an HEA at the end of the series then that should work out okay for romance readers. I know there are series where the H/h don't get together in the first book so you are probably in good company. I'm loving reading both Emmily and this WIP! Tweeted.

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    1. Thank you so much, Jenna. Your kind words are much needed encouragement. It's all so confusing--and feels overwhelming at times. Who knows where this publishing will lead.I don't think I've formulated what my measure of "success" would be, but I do know that I am greatly enjoying the journey. :-)

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  6. I live with a variety of parasomnias including night terrors, nightmares, and my very favorite, sleep paralysis. This snippet had the feel of one of my nightmares about being dragged out of my body.
    I worked as a nurse's aide for a cumulative of 25 years. I was certified as an EMT and I worked as an LPN between 2015 and 2018 before my own health problems made it so I couldn't do that kind of work anymore. I've cleaned up more poop than most people could imagine. One time a patient's colostomy bag exploded. Reading about bodily functions wouldn't make me bat an eye.

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    1. My heart goes out to you, living with sleep paralysis. It happened to me one time and it was one of the scariest things I've ever had happen.

      You've worked some tough jobs, Cara. That is hard work, taking care of patients--and bless your heart, patients are humans having bad days. My mom was a nurse and two of my sisters, too. Wasn't for me :-) It does take a special person to do that work. :-)

      Thanks for your encouraging words!

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  7. I can feel her terror, but given what she's gone through I think she's doing great.

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  8. Very vivid and viseral scene that had us right there with her.

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  9. I clicked on the WWW Sept 18 link and this is where I was directed.

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