Weekend Writing Warriors February 19, 2017

Hello fellow Warriors (and Snippeteers)! First, a short note about sidebar promos.  :-) Sidebar promos spots are available at no cost as a perk of regularly participating in Weekend Writing Warriors. If you're interested, all we need is an email from you that includes the link to the Amazon page of the book you'd like to see on our sidebar. Our email address is: wewriwa at yahoo dot com

  It's time for snips and bits of amazing writing by talented writers! Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop. Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 to 10 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, on their own blog to go live by before 9:00 AM Sunday, EST. (We check signups to remove links when we don't find a wewriwa post--to save our participants from clicking on empty links--so please have it live by 9:00 Sunday morning--eastern USA). Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good.  
 This week's snippet:  After Earth's invasion, Lily was captured by the wasp-like alien (Bulrager) slavers. She's been subjected to a sort of alien fight-club they have, something to kill time while they journey through space to where they sell their slave cargo. Jobe is Lily's dog.  Jean is one of three other humans she's found so far in her large holding cell: Jean, his girlfriend, Mirelle, and their friend, Maurice.  Dev Areen is the alien who captured her, and is in charge of this deck of the transport ship they are on.  Dev has just selected all of the humans plus Jobe to go to the fight ring with him. The last sentence last week, spoken by Dev Areen, was: “Obey me, or I’ll gut your dog in the middle of the floor.”

We continue from there.

She shook when she started up the ladder, gripping each rung as if she meant to crush it. She had no doubt that evil son of a bitch would do exactly what he’d just said, and that he’d enjoy doing it. She climbed as if Jobe’s life depended on it, because it did..

Two fights in, the floor was spattered red. They brought in the hairy giant, and then much to her horror, she saw her friends and Jobe being shoved into the ring. The door slammed behind them, a rumbling thud of death.

When the giant came at them, Jobe cowered and darted away. The hulking thing caught Mirelle and flung her against the wall. She glanced off of it and tumbled to the floor where she lay motionless. 
 

That's it for this week. What works and what doesn't? I'm grateful for every bit of feedback you share.