Hello
fellow Warriors (and Snippeteers)! First, a short note about sidebar promos. :-) Sidebar promos spots are available at no cost as a perk of regularly participating in Weekend Writing Warriors. If you're interested, all we need is an email from you that includes the link to the Amazon page of the book you'd like to see on our sidebar. Our email address is: wewriwa at yahoo dot com
Happy Valentines Day a bit early to everyone. :-)
It's time for snips and bits of amazing writing by talented writers! Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop. Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 to 10 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, on their own blog to go live by before 9:00 AM Sunday, EST. (We check signups to remove links when we don't find a wewriwa post--to save our participants from clicking on empty links--so please have it live by 9:00 Sunday morning--eastern USA). Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good.
It's time for snips and bits of amazing writing by talented writers! Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop. Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 to 10 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, on their own blog to go live by before 9:00 AM Sunday, EST. (We check signups to remove links when we don't find a wewriwa post--to save our participants from clicking on empty links--so please have it live by 9:00 Sunday morning--eastern USA). Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good.
This
week's snippet:
After Earth's invasion, Lily was captured by the wasp-like alien
(Bulrager) slavers. She's been subjected to a sort of alien fight-club
they have, something to kill time while they journey through space to
where they sell their slave cargo. Jobe is Lily's dog. Jean is one of
three other humans she's found so far in her large holding cell.
Jean, his girlfriend, Mirelle, and their friend, Maurice. They are from
France. Dev Areen is the alien who captured her, and is in charge of this deck of the transport ship they are on. Dev has just selected Jean and Jobe to go to the fight ring with him. The last sentence last week, spoken by Lily, was: Take me--I’ll fight.”
We continue from there.
We continue from there.
His
teeth clicked together before the sound of his unnerving laughter began. “So,
now you believe you can choose what you will do?” He looked toward Mirelle
clinging to Jean’s arm. “You come too,” His eyes moved down the line to
Maurice. “And you.” Then he grabbed a handful of Lily’s hair and dragged her toward
the door.
When
she entered the fight cell this time, Dev Areen shoved her to the ladder then
pointed up toward the seats.
“No—I’m not leaving them.”
“No—I’m not leaving them.”
That's it for this week. What works and what doesn't? I'm grateful for every bit of feedback you share.
Moral choices involving people and dogs are always great for increasing tension. Good job.
ReplyDeleteOh no! That last line was a killer.
ReplyDeleteTeresa, your mind works in many directions. This violence must come to an end and soon. I'm so worried for the girl and her dog.
ReplyDeleteThreaten to kill the dog - that's a villain! What a tough spot!
ReplyDeleteOh my god! He knows her vulnerability is the dog.
ReplyDeleteYikes! He knows how to motivate her. I need more!
ReplyDeleteTough choices, awful situation so I wonder what she'll do now? Really an intriguing story! Enjoyed the excerpt...
ReplyDeleteOh, he's got a mean streak a mile wide! Great way to rack up the suspense!
ReplyDeleteYikes! I hope she can turn this around!
ReplyDeleteOh no, what a choice she has to make! Great suspense to your snippet!
ReplyDeleteVicious brute!
ReplyDeleteOh no! What a choice. Great tension! Well done.
ReplyDeleteDev's confident he can get what he wants from her. He'll use her self-sacrifice against her.
ReplyDeleteGah! Poor Lilly, she's in such a rough spot! :(
ReplyDeleteOh, the cruelty!!! :(
ReplyDeleteYikes! What an intense scene. Anyone who could bring harm to a defenseless animal truly is a monster. Powerfully written!
ReplyDeleteSo intense! These guys are bad, bad news.
ReplyDeleteThis guy is horrible. But we knew that already, so continue to be full of anxiety for your characters and dog!
ReplyDeleteNo, no , no. You don't mess with the dog!
ReplyDeleteOh no no no - no messing with a dog. He should be gutted! Great job on getting us to dislike him.
ReplyDeleteTweeted.
Oh that's a nasty decision to have to make. Almost as gut-wrenching as Sophie's Choice. (well, dogs are our children) Pulling for Lilly to make the right choice--if there is a right one.
ReplyDeleteEeep! Brutal! Very well done. The set up for the snip was a little "who? what?" but then I got everything. Wasp people... that's some scary ****
ReplyDeleteSo cruel...these people seem to have a way of figuring out the proper fear mechanisms.
ReplyDeleteThis works perfectly, as far as I'm concerned, since I'm usually not violent, and right now I kind of want to gut Dev in the middle of the floor!