Hello
fellow Warriors (and Snippeteers)!
It's time for snips and bits of amazing tales by talented
writers! Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop. Each week,
participants sign up HERE
at wewriwa.com, then post 8 to 10 sentences of their work, published or
unpublished, on their own blog to go live by before 9:00 AM Sunday,
EST. (We check signups to remove links when we don't find a wewriwa
post--to save our participants from clicking on empty links--so please
have it live by 9:00 Sunday morning--eastern USA). Then we visit each
other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a
solitary writer's heart good.
This week's snippet: Starting a new chapter which follows immediately after Lily has pushed Theusand nearly to his breaking point. She's backed off now, and is obediently doing as he says-- The last line last week was. “She followed, half a step behind."
This week's snippet: Starting a new chapter which follows immediately after Lily has pushed Theusand nearly to his breaking point. She's backed off now, and is obediently doing as he says-- The last line last week was. “She followed, half a step behind."
Here we go...
In complete contradiction to his behavior
just moments before, he walked at a leisurely pace like they were two old
friends out for a stroll. They stopped in front of a door that had previously
been locked. She knew. She’d tried to open it. It was important to know which routes
were blocked in case an escape opportunity arose.
It probably remained padlocked to her,
but the Sand’s magic hand waved in front of a scanner and the door opened,
revealing stairs. Dimly lit, they’d still be gray in any light. There was no
set leading up, so they went the only direction they could, down.
What works and what doesn't? I'm
grateful for every bit of feedback you share.
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I love the contradictory atmosphere you've created: a friendly stroll, but leading to grey staircase going down, down, down.
ReplyDeleteWhere oh where is this staircase leading. Scary snippet as if all the others in this story have been a fairy tale. YIKES! You're leading us down, down, down.
ReplyDeleteIt's intriguing that maybe he does care. And I like how you reveal that she's already tried to find an escape route. And you left me curious to know where that staircase leads. Well done! :)
ReplyDeleteI'd be a little hesitant to follow him down those stairs.
ReplyDeleteWell, I guess any new information about her environment is good to know--as she said, she might need to know what was open and what not, but doing down a dim set of stairs would be pretty freaky with an alien, no matter how you cut it. Nice sense of foreboding here.
ReplyDeleteThe story just keeps getting more interesting as you add the details, like this spooky staircase! Enjoyed the excerpt.
ReplyDeleteShe seems to be doing a good job of keeping her eye on escape rather than giving in. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteI like that her observations are purposeful rather than aimless. And "down" always seems ominous, doesn't it? :)
ReplyDeleteIt does. Thanks, Ian!
DeleteHow did she manage to try the doors? Did she escape briefly?
ReplyDeleteShe has free roam of the Sand's quarters on the ship. :-)
DeleteLol, I agree with Botanist. Down always seems more ominous than up.
ReplyDeleteIt does. Thanks!
DeleteShe's on the ball and very observant. I worry, though, what might be behind that locked door.
ReplyDelete:-) Might not be good... Thanks, Elaine.
DeleteLocked doors are always fun. What mystery awaits down there? Great snippet!
ReplyDeleteThey are. lol Thanks, Caitlin.
DeleteYou are leading us into a scary situation. She's quite observant. She'll find her way out, I'm sure.
ReplyDeleteShe's a survivor. Bad times ahead--she will be tested. :-)
DeleteI love how she's so keenly aware of her surroundings; every moment is a possible chance to escape. So much great tension in this story!
ReplyDeleteHer heart is willing, but she's just not finding the opportunity. :-)
DeleteNice! Keep the tension going!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Amy!
DeleteI'm curious to know where those steps lead. I like that she's so aware of her surroundings. Great imagery.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Karen! :-)
DeleteWhere are they going? Why was the door closed before? Why did he decided to open it now? So many questions! Can't wait to read more!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad it made you ask questions! Thanks, Elyzabeth!
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