Hello
fellow Warriors (and Snippeteers)!FYI, we will have our regular posting next week on Easter Sunday. For those of you who will be busy with family and Easter traditions next week--I hope you have a good, holiday weekend--and I hope the Easter bunny finds you and brings you lots of chocolate. :-).
For those who celebrate it, Happy Passover. :-)
It's time for snips and bits of amazing tales by talented
writers! Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop. Each week,
participants sign up HERE
at wewriwa.com, then post 8 to 10 sentences of their work, published or
unpublished, on their own blog to go live by before 9:00 AM Sunday,
EST. (We check signups to remove links when we don't find a wewriwa
post--to save our participants from clicking on empty links--so please
have it live by 9:00 Sunday morning--eastern USA). Then we visit each
other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a
solitary writer's heart good.
This week's snippet: Moving ahead in my WIP, jumping many chapters to give you a glimpse of the male MC--a very complex soul. He is alien, capable of reading minds, and incredibly self-disciplined. Lily is angry--and directing it at him. He's about had his fill of it, dealing with this emotional human. The last line last week was spoken by Lily. “Or maybe you just don’t have any feelings,” she accused.
This week's snippet: Moving ahead in my WIP, jumping many chapters to give you a glimpse of the male MC--a very complex soul. He is alien, capable of reading minds, and incredibly self-disciplined. Lily is angry--and directing it at him. He's about had his fill of it, dealing with this emotional human. The last line last week was spoken by Lily. “Or maybe you just don’t have any feelings,” she accused.
Here we go...
He stopped walking and spun on her. Grabbing her
shoulders, he came against her, pinning her to the wall. He lowered his mouth next to her ear. His voice, barely above a whisper,
matched the icy coldness in his eyes when he said,“You don’t want to see my emotions. I am not
sure you would like me after you have seen me lose control.”
Lily swallowed. Fear replaced any desire
she had for a fight. There’d been an edge to his voice, a warning she was
going to heed, at least for the time being.
He straightened, backed away from her,
and continued on. She followed, half a step behind.
Don't worry. Lily is smart enough to pick her battles. This one wasn't worth the fight. That's it for this week. What works and what doesn't? I'm
grateful for every bit of feedback you share.
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Love the fireworks between these two. His comment about her not liking him afterwards kinda presumes she likes him now - not exactly a foregone conclusion :)
ReplyDeleteTrue, so true, Ian. He knows her every thought, and he spends fr too much time living in her head. She vacillates between seeing the good in him--and liking him for it, and hating him for the bad she sees. He's actually the more interesting character. He has the soul searching to do. His power is a double edged sword. Whereas Lily is understandable, and we can all relate to what she;s feeling--she wants to go home to the family she loves. :-) Thanks for visiting!!
DeleteVery powerful insight, Teresa. I can feel the darkness and self-judgement in him. Lovely complex characterisation. I want to say that I can taste him, a bit like really good dark chilli chocolate.
ReplyDeleteOoh, ooh. What a challenge. I want to see!
ReplyDeleteWarned just enough to keep her mouth shut. . .for now. What a powerful scene. You've captured his presence to a frightening moment.
ReplyDeleteYikes! In her position, I'd heed his warning, too. Maybe best to wait until she knows hims better, learns his weaknesses. Great snippet!
ReplyDeleteYes, I'm sure Lily is smart enough to know when silence is golden. She will pick her battles wisely. Characters who show little emotion are always fascinating (think Mr. Spock from Star Trek). Because we humans are so emotional, we have to relate to them via emotions and when they don't show them, we are intrigued all the more--waiting for that glimpse into what they are hiding. Great snippet, Teresa!
ReplyDeleteTense. I could feel his controlled anger - he wanted to explode but he held in it. Great job.
ReplyDeleteTweeted.
Smart girl, that Lily. I liked the tension. You can tell he's disciplined. He's a dormant volcano...about to erupt, I presume.
ReplyDeleteThere's an interesting dynamic going on between these two and yes, I'm glad she didn't pick this battle to fight! Another great snippet...
ReplyDeleteOf course, she doesn't seem to like him when he is in control of his emotions. But, she's right to be wary.
ReplyDeleteGreat snippet, Teresa. Great sense of underlying tension and controlled emotion.
ReplyDelete(PS You do know its Rachel de Vine commenting, don't you? I don't know what's happened but my google account has changed into my other writing name, and I can't work out what has happened. So I have left it.)
Scary and chilling!
ReplyDeleteWow! Very powerful scene. I'd like to see more.
ReplyDeleteLoved this snippet- Then tension between the two could be felt. I like how she states 'for now' she'll heed his warning then walks the half a step behind. :)
ReplyDeleteWhoa! I could feel the intensity of this scene. The dialogue is so powerful, as are the descriptions of his actions. Well done!!!
ReplyDeleteWhew, intense! Sounds like Lily would be wise to turn him into an ally, not an opponent.
ReplyDeleteHmm. I'll have to remember kisses as a way to end those minor little disagreements with my wife.
ReplyDeleteI could feel the tension between them. This was an intense scene.
ReplyDeleteSo maybe there's a good reason for this ultra-controlled and rigid system. Intriguing!
ReplyDeleteOooo that was intense. Loved it!
ReplyDeleteOh yes, I'd definitely say there are emotions buried in there. Great snippet.
ReplyDeleteWhoa. He certainly put an end to that conversation. Made his point.
ReplyDeleteIntense snippet! and I am so, so intrigued by him!
ReplyDelete