Hello
fellow Warriors (and Snippeteers)!
It's time for snips and bits of amazing tales by talented
writers! Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop. Each week,
participants sign up HERE
at wewriwa.com, then post 8 to 10 sentences of their work, published or
unpublished, on their own blog to go live by before 9:00 AM Sunday,
EST. (We check signups to remove links when we don't find a wewriwa
post--to save our participants from clicking on empty links--so please
have it live by 9:00 Sunday morning--eastern USA). Then we visit each
other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a
solitary writer's heart good.
This week's snippet is from "The Sands of Dhor". Lily, abducted from Earth by alien slavers, is following Theusand. They've left the section of the ship where he and his Chays (monks) are quartered. It's the first time she's left that deck since Lord Sand rescued her from the slave fight ring in the belly of the ship. The last line last week was: She was living every terrifying, scifi-dystopian novel she’d ever read.
This week's snippet is from "The Sands of Dhor". Lily, abducted from Earth by alien slavers, is following Theusand. They've left the section of the ship where he and his Chays (monks) are quartered. It's the first time she's left that deck since Lord Sand rescued her from the slave fight ring in the belly of the ship. The last line last week was: She was living every terrifying, scifi-dystopian novel she’d ever read.
Here we go...
A
smile spread from his lips up to those two chips of blue-ice eyes, making them twinkle. “Every tale begins with a bit of truth, even when
you label it fiction. You should not be afraid, Earth Lily. Once you see Teauche Brigard
and accept it as your world, you will understand it is a good system.”
She took a slow, deep breath and willed her voice to be steady. The conversation had to change; the focus
needed to be on something other than his persistent delusion that she was going to his planet--and that she'd be happy there. Since there was no weather to ask about, she voiced the second safe topic that popped into her mind. “Tell me about the people who crew this ship.”
“As
I said, they are good people. They are—"
What works and what doesn't? I'm
grateful for every bit of feedback you share.
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I enjoy her determination that regardless of what he believes, she still refuses to fall under his control. I'm curious to learn about his crew, too.
ReplyDeleteThey are? They are? Major cliff hanger! Can't wait to read more.
ReplyDeleteYou have me hanging on that last fragment of a sentence...
ReplyDeleteI can sense her panic that she might never see her loved ones again. I wonder if he'll succeed in putting her at ease?
ReplyDeleteShe's smart and clever and will get the heck out of there and soon! That's it. Nice snippet!
ReplyDeleteIf he can see into her mind, surely he knows she'll never accept his world! And that dangling sentence is a real tease :)
ReplyDeleteLily is so optimistic about getting away. I can't wait to see how she makes it happen. Do I sense an ulterior motive in asking about the crew? Great snippet!
ReplyDeleteDoesn't he see that she doesn't want to come to his planet?
ReplyDeleteGreat description: "A smile spread from his lips up to those two chips of blue-ice eyes, making them twinkle."
ReplyDeleteI love the idea of a 'safe subject' to talk about and having to ask about the crew instead of the weather!
ReplyDeleteAh, small talk. I suck at that.
ReplyDeleteEvery bit of data she can gather will be helpful, no doubt. Good plan to keep him talking! Enjoyed the excerpt...
ReplyDeleteThere's probably not an easy way to shift him off his future plans. He seems quite set on them!
ReplyDeleteThey are what? What?! Great cliffhanger haha
ReplyDeleteShe is determined to stay put, but I have a hunch is as determined. I'm curious to know what stopped him from continuing his account of the crew. Perhaps he's figured out her ploy. :)
ReplyDeleteThey are... under attack? Good cliff hanger.
ReplyDeleteDo you know what comes of being late in responding? Everybody has already said what I wanted to. Great snippet. Love the cliff-hanger.
ReplyDelete