Hello
fellow Warriors (and Snippeteers). Sorry that life has kept me away from regularly participating.
It's time for snips and bits of amazing tales by talented
writers! Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop. Each week,
participants sign up HERE
at wewriwa.com, then post 8 to 10 sentences of their work, published or
unpublished, on their own blog to go live by before 9:00 AM Sunday,
EST. (We check signups to remove links when we don't find a wewriwa
post--to save our participants from clicking on empty links--so please
have it live by 9:00 Sunday morning--eastern USA). Then we visit each
other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a
solitary writer's heart good.
This week's snippet is from "The Sands of Dhor" Lily, abducted from Earth from alien slavers, is following Theusand. They've left the section of the ship where he and his Chays (monks) are quartered. It's the first time she's left that deck since Lord Sand rescued her from the slave fight ring in the belly of the ship. The last line last week was (referencing gossip) spoken by Theusand (Lord Sand). She was living every terrifying, scifi-dystopian novel she’d ever read.
This week's snippet is from "The Sands of Dhor" Lily, abducted from Earth from alien slavers, is following Theusand. They've left the section of the ship where he and his Chays (monks) are quartered. It's the first time she's left that deck since Lord Sand rescued her from the slave fight ring in the belly of the ship. The last line last week was (referencing gossip) spoken by Theusand (Lord Sand). She was living every terrifying, scifi-dystopian novel she’d ever read.
Here we go...
The
larger question burned, and since she no longer possessed a private thought,
she went ahead and asked, “All of your life... so you were born the Sand? You didn’t just wake up one day and turn into a fear-inducing
mind-reader?”
“Fear
inducing?”
“You
can’t tell? You don’t sense it?”
“There
might be some fear, but I believe it is mingled with a larger dose of respect, Lily.
People must be controlled, and most accept that.”
She
shuddered. She was living every terrifying, scifi-dystopian novel she’d ever
read.
What works and what doesn't? I'm
grateful for every bit of feedback you share.
A short note about sidebar promos. :-) Sidebar promos spots are available at no cost as a perk of regularly participating in Weekend Writing Warriors. If you're interested, all we need is an email from you that includes the link to the Amazon page of the book you'd like to see on our sidebar. Our email address is: wewriwa at yahoo dot com
"people must be controlled" ? uh no. Glad I don't live in that society. Great snippet.
ReplyDeleteWhoa, this is wonderful. Thanks, Teresa.
ReplyDeleteWow, I shuddered as well. I wonder if she will fall under his control, or (hopefully) show him there are other ways to rule. Love it! :)
ReplyDeleteUntil it's on the cover, the title can change all it wants. :D I wonder if he reads thoughts more than emotions...
ReplyDeleteI'd hate if someone could read my thoughts. Thank goodness when I'm mad my hubby can't... Nice snippet.
ReplyDeleteGreat snippet!
ReplyDeleteI love how calmly he rebuts her very good point - he's definitely not self aware about his powers! Great snippet.
ReplyDeleteOh wow. His statements about control, and how calmly he delivers it, really is chilling!
ReplyDeleteThis is a really unnerving statement - he talks about controlling people so unemotionally, in the way some people talk about animals as if they have no feelings.*Shivers*
ReplyDeleteSo, Theusand interprets others' fear as awe? Or is he trying to justify himself?
ReplyDeleteYikes, what an intense snippet. His lack of awareness is terrifying.
ReplyDeleteYour last two sentences are fab.
ReplyDeleteNot so sure about this guy. Controlling people? No emotions? Or doesn't recognize emotions. I want to read more to see how she "trains" him.
ReplyDeleteWhat? People must be controlled? I'm going to say 'no' to that. That last line made me smile, though. :)
ReplyDeleteGah, I love these snippets! :D
ReplyDeleteI absolutely love that snippet! Oh my goodness--conflict, character, and intrigue. Very cool.
ReplyDeleteReads like my kinda story! lol. Love it!!!!
ReplyDeletePeople must be controlled? I don't think so!! lol I'm sure enjoying your story.
ReplyDelete