Snippet Sunday group from facebook, not us but many of our participants do both, is HERE
This
week's snippet is from my scifi WIP, Dhor'en Sands. Lily, (Abducted
from Earth) the MC, is gathered with a group of rebels around a fire and
they're telling tales--their respective histories, mostly. She's just
been musing about how different Theusand is here among these people.
Last week ended with: That coincided with Leese asking, “Lily,
won’t you tell us a story?”
.
We pick up from there. Note* Creative punctuation used at times to stay within 8 to 10 sentences max.
A storm of emotions brewed inside of her. What good would it do to speak of Ben and the girls? The barrage
of tears would come, and when it did, it would be unstoppable. But not speaking
of them felt like a denial of the best part of her entire existence.
“My
family was the reason I got up in the morning. My babies... they were mine to
love, oh God, mine to protect.” Leaning forward, she brought her hands up to her face and swiped at unleashed tears. Sobs came, choking wails of grief only a bereft parent knows. Closing her eyes, she held
her breath, willing herself to calm. She pictured her girls, and Ben, then managed to whisper, “Ben was my
husband, my soulmate.”
.
Well that's probably not Theusand's favorite tale this evening...
I'm truly grateful for any comment or critique you share. Thanks for visiting!
I'm truly grateful for any comment or critique you share. Thanks for visiting!
It may not be something Theusand wants to hear, but I think it is something Lily needs to talk about. Always looking forward to more!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Jessica! :-)
DeleteOh, very painful memories, and painful to talk about!
ReplyDeleteIndeed. Thanks for visiting, Ian!
DeleteI'm so glad you circled back to these memories, no matter how painful they are for her. We needed the reminder of what she's lost.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Ed! :-)
DeleteAt last, Teresa, I've been waiting for Lily to spill her story and you've grabbed my heart once again. Thank you for this gift, dear friend.
ReplyDeleteThank you for reading it! And thanks for visiting, dear friend. Hugs...
DeleteA very intense moment. And, she has to be so strong to live with that sorrow.
ReplyDeleteHer strength will be sorely tested. Thanks for visiting, Aurora!
DeleteIt's good to share with people who have been through similar things. I don't think Theusand has been much comfort to her.
ReplyDeleteHe has but he hasn't. His idea of comfort is rather skewed, involving manipulating her thoughts and, worse, her memories. Thanks for visiting!
DeleteWell she tells it straight from her heart, for sure. Great snippet!
ReplyDeleteShe does. Gut wrenching sorrow bleeding out. Thanks for visiting!
DeleteMy heart is aching for her. While I don't know for sure, I have a feeling her entire family is gone. How awful for her. I hope Theusand understands her better.
ReplyDeleteWell...Theusand told her that. :-) Might be a bit of a twist ahead...
DeleteOr a whopper of a twist...
The emotion leaps off the page in this excerpt. I can't help but hurt along with her. Great writing, Teresa!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Julie! :-)
DeleteI can feel her agony as she tells this story. Well done.
ReplyDeleteSO glad to read that! Thanks, Elaine!
DeleteNice to see WeWriWa is still going strong! ☺ Thanks for dropping in at The Den, Teresa. As for your story: Lily's grief is palpable. Heartbreaking snippet!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Debbie! :-) I really enjoyed your "Stalking" tale. :-)It is riveting writing!
DeleteI'm thrilled you liked it! ☺ Thank you so much. It's an on-going series.
DeleteOh... dear... I'm not sure if she'll get the whole story out, but I doubt that'll matter. Already telling plenty.
ReplyDeletePerhaps not. If she could struggle thru it, I think Theusand has a mind to stop it. But...will he? Thanks for visiting!
DeleteI'm sure it's not his favorite tale but I think she needed to speak about them if only to grieve!
ReplyDeleteYes indeed! Thanks for visiting, Karen!
DeleteWhat a heart-wrenching moment. How brave she is to confide such a private pain.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Nancy! I'm glad you see her as brave. She's up against heart-wrenching stuff. :-)
DeleteTHeusand might not like it but it is the truth and perhaps, he'll empathize with her at some level? Great snippet, Teresa.
ReplyDeleteAgreed. It's honest, even if it did some make some fermented drink to get it out of her. :-) Empathy? Coming...
DeleteThanks for visiting!