Weekend Writing Warriors: July 19, 2015

 

                 Hello, Warriors-- my favorite writers in the whole wide world. :-) Another week has passed and it's time for the Warriors to gather  again. :-)
            

Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop. Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 to 10 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, to go live between noon, Saturday, and 9:00 AM Sunday EST. Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good. 
                 Snippet Sunday group from facebook--not us, but many of our participants do both, can be found HERE 

This is Chapter 4 from my SFR WIP, Across The Night Sky . The heroine and the hero have just met each other. She just saved his life. Now there's relative calm, and she has time to think.
 


We continue from there:

Sitting in the half-light, her heart stopped its crazy drumming and her breathing slowed. She kept going over and over what had just happened, starting with her playing hide and seek at the park with Gavin.

Gavin. Tears ran down her face while she shook her head from side to side, a denial that was fading with each passing minute. “Please baby, be alright; don’t be here, wherever the hell here is.” 

She couldn’t recall anything between hiding behind that bush, and waking up in the metal room.  It made sense that Gavin would be with her if he’d been brought here too.  Then again, nothing about this made any sense. But, she had to believe. She couldn’t bear the thought that he might be here too—here with those man-eating animals.

      
 

That's it. What works? What doesn't? I'm so very grateful for any comment or criticism you leave. :-)

Weekend Writing Warriors: October 5, 2014

 

Weekend Writing Warriors

Welcome Warriors, and Snipsuns.  So glad you could stop by for a visit. :-)  
Happy October. It feels like it here. We have a freeze warning tonight. That would make it the end of the 2014 growing season. :-(  Time to gather the pumpkins and pick a last batch of beans.

Remember the entire month of October, the First Page Review bloghop is ongoing. If you wonder what readers think of your first page (up to 1,000 words), then sign up here.
       Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop. Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, to go live between noon, Saturday and 9:00 AM Sunday EST. Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good. 
     If you're new to Weekend Writing Warriors ( #8sunday ) , the best advice I can give you to make it work for you is to visit other people on the list, read their 8 sentences, then leave a comment. Most participants will give you a return visit and leave a comment. 

     Snippet Sunday group from facebook--not us, but many of our participants do both, can be found HERE

      The travelers are on the boat that is taking them upriver into the Firce Mountains.  Tayden  asked Wiley(river driver) if his Maker ever answers when he talks to him.  Wiley's answering him, telling him a story from "back before this hair was gray."   :-)  We are still in Kad's POV. Final sentence from last week: I looked up and seen that the man of different skin was already on board, leaning over the side with his hand reaching toward me."  



I gripped his hand and he started pulling me up. All these years come and gone since that day, I still sometimes wonder about what happened next.  At first I thought maybe I rung my bell real hard on the boat when I was fallin out. You see, when I looked up at that man, his  face changed from a Soothman's to a Juman's, and then it changed again into an Albainne's,"He nodded toward Tayden. "He could’a been your brother. All the while he smiled, and his eyes was full of peace. He managed to calm me in the middle of that raging storm--and that still don't make a lick of sense." 

That's it. What works, what doesn't? 

Weekend Writing Warriors: September 28, 2014

Welcome Warriors, and Snipsuns.  So glad you could stop by for a visit. :-)  

The last weekend of September. WOW! WOW! WOW!

Before you move on this week, I've posted (below my snippet) the link to a First Page Review (first 1,000 words) bloghop. If you have time, please give it a read and maybe think about it? :-)
 
     Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop. Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, to go live between noon, Saturday and 9:00 AM Sunday EST. Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good.

     Snippet Sunday group from facebook--not us, but many of our participants do both, can be found HERE

      The travelers are now on the boat that is taking them upriver into the Firce Mountains.  Tayden has just asked Wiley(river driver) if his Maker ever answers when he talks to him.  Wiley's answering him, telling him a story from "back before this hair was gray."   :-)  We are still in Kad's POV. Final sentence from last week:

"And then the water swallowed me, and I was holdin' my breath and fighting for the surface.”

Possible creative punctuation at work.


"When I finally broke onto the top of the water, the boat was upright and bucking wild. It must have righted itself while I was under. I tried swimming for it, but every time I came to the surface, a big wave shoved me back down. It sure seemed like I was sucking in way more water than air." Wiley scrunched his face and shook his head from side to side before he continued. "Then, and I still can’t explain how, the water settled real still between me and the boat. I swam over to it in a hurry, like the devil was nippin' at my heels. I looked up and seen that the man of different skin was already on board, leaning over the side with his hand reaching toward me."  That's it. What works, what doesn't?

 
Blog-hop announcement: There is a linky-list posted here, for the First Page Review bloghop . This is separate from Weekend Writing Warriors.
     The idea is this: Do you want to know what  readers think when they read the first page of your book?  
     I don't know about anyone else, but I'm probably more insecure about the first page than I am about anything else. The idea of trying to grab a readers' attention, and to try to entice them with the beginning of a story is an enormous challenge. And like most writers, I'm blind to my own work. And I can't be completely different from other writers--you guys are a little insecure, too, right?  :-) 
     That's the motivation for the First Page Review. You can post up to 1,000 words--the beginning of a book, published or unpublished, a manuscript, or an unfinished WIP. The blog-hop will run the month of October. I've already posted mine. And, my book's title looks awfully lonely on the sign up list. ~smiling~
Thank you so much for visiting and sharing your opinion. I'm grateful for each and every opinion, and each and every one of you!

Weekend Writing Warrior: September 21, 2014

Welcome Warriors, and Snipsuns.  So glad you could stop by for a visit. :-)  The last (official) weekend of summer is racing by. WOW! We have some red leaves here already.
 
     Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop. Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, to go live between noon, Saturday and 9:00 AM Sunday EST. Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good.

     Snippet Sunday group from facebook--not us, but many of our participants do both, can be found HERE

      The travelers are now on the boat that is taking them upriver into the Firce Mountains.  Tayden has just asked Wiley(river driver) if his Maker ever answers when he talks to him.  Wiley's answering him, telling him a story from "back before this hair was gray."   :-)  We are still in Kad's POV. Final sentence from last week:

"Fore I knowed  it, that old wood boat was taking a tumble in front of a wall of water.”

Creative punctuation to make this fit.




"Now, I won’t lie, I coulda just as easily pissed my pants as not. Maybe I did. Never been so scared in my life—I  didn’t think I was gonna come out the other side alive. Everything was dark: the sky, the air, the water. Couldn’t tell up from down. While we were fallin’ into the inky deep, I caught a glimpse of my fare just before the rolling boat launched him. He had this strange, peaceful look on his face.  And then the water swallowed me, and I was holdin my breath and fighting for the surface."





 That's it. What works, what doesn't?

A quick note: Since it affects some of our regulars--and because we're all writers and ultimately, these challenges affect us all.  For Ellora's Cave authors who are now having difficulties getting paid--I  don't know what caused it, but I hope it's cleared up quickly.

Thank you so much for visiting and sharing your opinion. I'm grateful for each and every opinion, and each and every one of you!