Sorry for my absence for so long. How are you all doing? Any fun vacations going on? New books launched?
I went down the rabbit hole with a story that, for thirty-nine days, took over my life. The book is finished. It's resting now after a first edit pass. I'll be back to it in a month or so with fresh eyes. But for today, I'm back to Dhor'en Sands.
Weekend Writing Warriors is where we share snips and bits of amazing tales by talented authors and writers. Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com then post 8 to 10 sentences of their work, published or unpublished (we like it all) on their own blog to go live by 9:00 AM each Sunday. Then we visit each other and read and comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good.
Snippet Sunday group from facebook, not us, but many of our participants do both, is HERE
This week's snippet is, perhaps, exibition A of my current writing craziness. It's the beginning of my scifi WIP, Dhor'en Sands. If it looks familiar, it's because I've posted a lot of this story already, BUT...I'm doing a big POV change-up. I'm going from third person past, to first person present.
I don't know if it will work. I just know that I feel the story when I'm writing first person, and when I switch back to third, it feels too distant.
I don't know if it will work. I just know that I feel the story when I'm writing first person, and when I switch back to third, it feels too distant.
Please feel free to be brutally honest about the snippet. I'm kind of feeling around in the dark right now.
Note* Creative punctuation used at times to stay within 8 to 10 sentences max.
A mixture of smoke and dust blow my way, carrying the smell of civilization burning to the ground. Staying as low as I can, I twist around to look between broken bricks and shattered wood. Nothing… But they'll come. There's no changing that.
I swallow down sobs, studying the photo in my hands. Gracie’s freckled nose is a miniature of mine, but Annie’s crooked smile is a mirror of her dad’s. He sits between them, pulling our daughters close. Their hero. Mine, too.
I'm truly grateful for any comment or critique you share. Thanks for visiting!
I'm so happy to see you after the long spell. You've started a fascinating beginning. I felt their problems and wishes. So fine.
ReplyDeleteThanks for visiting, dear friend. It's good to be back among writers whose opinions I trust so much. <3
DeleteThe POV's immediacy works well in this passage. In general I'm not a fan of present tense novels, but it can be made to work, so I'll certainly give you the benefit of a a doubt.
ReplyDeleteI think, after reading these comments, that I'm going to trudge ahead a bit longer and see how I feel about it then. :-) Thanks for your much-valued opinion, Ed!
DeleteI'm not a fan of first person narratives either but having read all the previous excerpts, I can definitely see the change in POV working well for this book. Glad to hear things are going well on the writing front and enjoyed the snippet of course!
ReplyDeleteThanks for your much-respected opinion, Jean. Still weighing the pros and cons. :-)
DeleteFirst person will make the story more intense, which fits this one.
ReplyDeleteI'm writing in first person in my WIP for the first time.
It's nice knowing someone else who is endeavoring to write a first person story right now. :-)
DeleteThanks for sharing your opinion. :-)
I can definitely feel how much more intense you've made this by being in first person. Having written in third POV and now switching to first POV, I know there is quite the difference. As an author, if you feel more connected when it's in first person, go for it. The reader will feel the connection more, too.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for sharing your thoughts. I actually read the book I just wrote out loud to my husband as part of my editing pass. Now he's a little bit invested in the outcome--that I see it the entire way through to published. Anyway. I read your comment to him. He said, "See, I told you." :-)
DeleteDefinitely more immediacy and more connection with the character. I really don't like 1st person present tense, but this does work--even for me! Waiting for more!
ReplyDeleteJenna, thanks so much. I swear, I'd hug you if you were here. lol My self-doubt is at an all-time high.
DeleteFirst person narratives are not my first choice but I think it will work well with this tale.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Karen! I'm soldiering forward, fighting a case of writer's neurosis like I have never before had. :-)
DeleteI love this new version. So immediate. I can feel her pain and loss. I enjoy 1st person POV and have used it in the past tense in my cozy mysteries. I tried 1st person present in my MG, and it works well. Have fun with this. Glad you're back.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Diane. It's good to be back. My writer's neurosis is at an all time high, right now. I appreciate your kind comments! I do know that your MG is good. First person worked so well for it! :-)
DeleteI really love this from a first person POV! I agree with the others that it helps the reader connect on a deeper level with the character. Congrats on finishing your other book, and best of luck with the edits! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks so much, Julie!!I'll take all the good luck wishes I can get!
DeleteNice descriptions in the snippet.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Kate!! :-)
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