Snippet Sunday group from facebook, not us, but many of our participants do both, is HERE
This snippet if from Emmily, Unbound, a contemporary romance with scifi elements. It's in First-person.
There could be wonky punctuation to keep within the #wewriwa
guidelines.
Emmily, the main character has lost pretty much everything in the last twelve months. She and her dog, Murphy, are moving to an old
hunting camp her dad and mom willed to her. She's listening to the radio--for
distraction, and the Deejays have just gone on and on about a possible UFO
sighting.
This ends the opening scene.
The snippet:
At
the stoplight at the edge of town, at the intersection where my parents died, I
swallow the lump in my throat. When the light turns green, I head northeast,
toward wilderness and solitude.
In
my rearview mirror, the town I lived in for forty years vanishes in the
distance. My new address is waiting—in what will forever be the summer
mountains of my youth.
My
eyes well as a truth of being human drifts through my thoughts: We leave a
place because we’re searching for something, but we’re usually running from
something, too.
I’m searching for where I lost myself in the purgatory of the
last year of my life. And I am running…running from the emptiness, from the
pain…
I’ve
been learning to move forward again, one second at a time, one breath at a
time. This decision to start over in the mountains will,
hopefully, bring me out on the morning side of this dark night of the soul I’m
trapped in. I know I’ll have scars, but I pray there won’t be open wounds
anymore.
I love all of the emotion you are able to make me feel in this and previous snippets! You write really well in first person!
ReplyDeleteJess, thank you so much. I can't stop smiling. Your words came at a time when I really needed them. I never dreamed I was capable of this level of insecurity...
DeleteIntense, but beautiful words. Really enjoyed the snippet.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Iris! :-)
DeleteShe hopeful, but maybe she's looking for release to come too easily. She'll have to fight for it.
ReplyDeleteLiterally. ;-) Thanks, Ed!
DeleteGreat emotional snippet!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Karen! :-)
DeleteOh,my friend, I'm overwhelmed reading your snippet. Intense, every word touches me.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Charmaine! <3
DeleteTouching scene.
ReplyDeleteNote - the start of your third paragraph needs reworking - "My eyes...drifts through my thoughts."
Thanks for the suggestion, Aurora! :-)
DeleteA lot of soulsearching going on here...very well written and expressed, will be interesting to see how the scifi elements of the story come into play later. Enjoyed the snippet!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Jean! Much soul-searching in this story. :-)
DeleteWow, this is so powerful and beautifully written, my friend. I especially enjoyed this line: 'We leave a place because we’re searching for something, but we’re usually running from something, too.' So very true. Great work!!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Jules! :-)
DeleteThat last paragraph is perfection! Beautiful writing here.
ReplyDeleteAwe, thanks, Nancy! :-)
DeleteLovely and soulful. I wonder how she plans to survive alone in the wilderness for a year.
ReplyDeleteWell, it's all about to change--especially that "alone" status. :-) Thanks, Alexis!
DeleteWhat a beautiful, touching piece of writing - especially the last paragraph, such an intensity of feeling. You write first person so well!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Hywela!! :-)
DeleteVery lyrical, and we understand her so much better now.
ReplyDeleteGreat! This is very early in the story. :-)
DeleteStarting over in the mountains sounds like a great plan.
ReplyDelete:-) I hope--it's all she's got, right now. Thanks for visiting!
DeleteHaving been in a pretty serious car accident whilst stopped at a red light, that first sentence hit kind of close. Interesting thought process she has.
ReplyDeleteAccidents are so scary--especially the way we replay in them in our minds...slow motion. Glad you're okay!
Delete"My eyes well as a truth of being human drifts through my thoughts: We leave a place because we’re searching for something, but we’re usually running from something, too."
ReplyDeleteThis whole snippet is beautiful, poignant and true.
My son and I moved to a very rural part of Colorado in mid-August. This place is "it", the last stop on the way, so to speak. There are things in my heart that I don't believe can ever heal, and I guess in many ways I'm still angry at my body for letting me down and becoming disabled and a burden to me. But if it had not, we wouldn't be here, and here is where I'm finally able to work on the stuff that has meaning to me.
I like this character a lot. She's down, but she's not giving up.
ReplyDelete